#she called me gay for 5 minutes because i called doll pretty this is such bullying

[cordialsilence]

I just saw Barbie and that's your problem now (spoilers)

Dude. I. What the fuck (positive)

I just saw Barbie and bloody hell how did this movie ever get approved by Mattel (positive)

SPOILERS. LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. KEEP SCROLLING IF YOU WISH FOR THIS MOVIE TO REMAIN UNSPOILED.

For contex, "Barbie" singular refers to margot robbie, the main character. "barbies" plural refers to background/side characters. I understand why this movie broke ryan gosling.

Ok play by play:

I walk into the theatre, popcorn in hand. The isles are filled with pink. I am wearing pink. the lights dim. Its showtime

Primitive children play with primitive dolls. barbie appears. i wonder if David Attenborough directed this part of the movie

Present day barbie. Stuff from the trailers. hi barbie hi barbie hi barbie. Oh wait the song is the narrator that kinda cool

5 minutes in and its Trailers trailers trailers. I've seen maybe 5 lines of non-trailer dialogue

The "beach you off" joke goes right over my head. I still don't know if there was a joke there

dance time. holy shit the mood of summer (do you ever think about dying) happend real fast. Nice save Barbie

sour milk and flat feet

jesus christ we're at weird barbie's already. this is the plot I know from the trailers but we still have like an hour and 20 minutes left

Weird barbie made a dick joke. The theater erupts. they were not expecting that.

don't laugh at the sex joke don't laugh at the sex joke you are with your parents don't laugh at the sex joke.

Mmmmmk barbie in the real world. The undertone of violence during catcalling is addressed. yay!

Barbie loudly and bluntly announces that she does not have a vagina and that ken does not have a penis. They do not have genitals. The crowd goes wild. They expected that less.

In the spen of 2 minutes Barbie gets arrested. barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets the cowgirl suit. barbie gets arrested. Barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets released by police officers

barbie has meditation time and discovers the girl

ken takes a walk and discovers that the world is run by men

barbie and ken go to school. Barbie gets burned roasted eviscerated by sara (the girl whos been playing with her) and runs away crying. Ken discovers the patriarchy

Barbie gets discovered by mattel. Barbie gets chased through mattel HQ

The girl and her mom save barbie and go back to barbie land. it was actually the mom who played with barbie and made her because she was sad about her daughter being a dicky teenager.

ken has taken over barbie land

ken has instated the patriarchy into barbie land. the barbies are brainwashed into being mindless servants. the dreamhouses are now for the kens.

Barbie has a breakdown. Mom daughter go to leave barbie land

Barbie is rescued by weird barbie and taken to her house, the base of a resistance??? other brainwashed barbies are there. Weird barbie now wears grenades. Discontinued barbies and weird barbies are trying to unbrainwash brainwashed barbies. It is not working. Barbie is still having a breakdown.

Gay as hell ken exists

Mom and daughter are back. Barbie cries about how she isnt pretty and "stereotypical barbie" anymore. The air is thick and uncomfortable. The narrator announces that margot robbie was not the right person to deliver that line. tension dissolved (for now)

Mom goes into long and heartfelt rant about the patriarchy and expectations of women and jesus christ is rocked me to my core it was like every feminist tumblr post compiled into the perfect monologue about the struggles of being a woman in the best way possible. I can feel the uncomfortable men in the room. I can also feel the men in the room who are sad for women. you could hear a pin drop. The barbies become unbrainwashed as they realize the patriarchy sucks. Barbie is back.

Barbie and friends have mom give more (unheard ;-;) speeches and unbrainwash the other barbies in a way that calls out how men view women and sexist media tropes.

Holly shit is ken the villain of this movie

Barbies turn kens against each other so they forget about voting to change the constitution. Yes.

Kens have a war over barbies. They do not have weapons. Ryan gosling sings a power ballad. The kens unite.

The kens confront the barbies. President barbie drops a motherfucker bomb censored with a mattel logo. The crowd once again goes wild. Some of us go feral. I went feral.

Lost of deep conversations about the patchirarchy and sexisim and beuty standards and holly shit I though this was going to be a kids film but its almost unhinged kiss me greta gerwig

A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for barbie or ken. Ken cannot compute this. A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for Barbie or ken. Ken slightly computes this.

Barbie tells ken that he's his own person and he is not defined by his girlfriend or the patriarchy or beach (his job. no there is not context). cough cough this is the movie addressing toxic masculinity and how the patriarchy harms men

Barbie does not know her ending. Barbie meets Ruth Mattel. Ruth mattel is in trouble with the IRS for committing tax evasion. deep emotional scene. barbie learns sees what it means to be human. that billie eyelash song plays. Humans only have one ending, ideas live forever. Barbie "wants to be part of the people who make ideas, not the idea"

Barbie is in a car. Beige suit. Pink Birkenstocks. The mom and the girl wish her good luck. They will be here when she's done. Barbie walks into an office building.

"name"

"handler comma Barbra" (context required but its meaningful and basically barbies human name)

"why are you here"

"I'm here to see my gynecologist"

The end. The crowd goes feral. nobody moves as we wonder what the fuck just happened. We cheer.

Being the true Margot Robbie Stan that I am, I rise from my seat and think "what a ride"

I exit the theatre, grinning ear to ear. Perplexed. But grinning ear to ear. I do not stop grinning for a long time.

As I exit the theatre, me and my fellow movie-goers look at each other with a sense of fear, happiness, and that feeling when you wake up from a fever dream. I doubt I will sleep tonight as my brain processes this movie. I still don't really know what happened to Barbie. I'm perfectly ok with that.

Overall the trailers greatly mislead people and this movie was a wild feminist, feminist, feminist ride in the most fantabulous way possible. It touches on most social issues, makes fucking hilarious jokes, Barbie has several breakdowns and it truly feels like a giant "fuck you" to the patriarchy with Mattel's branding. Written by women, directed by women, produced by women. its perfect. It's not the most sophisticated piece of feminist media but its pretty fucking close and definitely the best mainstream one.

Hating the Barbie movie should replace hating cats as a red flag.

I loved it and I'm still processing it but it was great. Also how was something like this allowed to happen in hollywood. I don't care. it happened and It was perfect. I loved it and I'm making plans to see it again.

[tommythesimp]

[ Hello hello! This is my first time actually writing. So I hope you like it! This shall be a Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw fanfic with my oc! I know Bradley probably isn’t gay, but I think he would be bi. So DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY PLEASE!!!! ]

Ocs call sign : Pine

Ocs age : 25

Bradley’s call sign : Rooster

Bradley’s age : 30

Drinking!!!

I walk into the hard deck, Smiling at penny due to not being there for the past few days, happy i get to be there finally. “New face! Who’s this?” Penny say’s jokingly. “Hello penny, long time no see.” I reply, smiling bigger “Yeah, how long has it been? 5 days? Or maybe. 4?” Penny says, reaching for some [ insert vodka brand ] “its been 5” I say, taking a seat at the bar, hearing the door slam I look over, standing in the door way Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw soaking wet due to the rain. “Hey penny. Hey pine!” He says, taking a seat next to me “hello Bradley.” Penny says. “Hello rooster! How are you?” I say, trying to start a conversation “I’m okay, you?” He says in his raspy voice. God the sound of it makes me shiver. “I’m good! How is your love life? Any crushes?” “Yeah. Why?” He says, Confused on why I asked that. “Oh! No reason!” I reply very fastly “Puppy love.” Penny chimes in, making me and bradley blush “No its not penny! We don’t even like each other!” “Yeah! What pine said!” Hearing him say my name..it made me feel something..something i haven’t felt in forever since I broke up with my ex.. did I..like Bradley? No..no i couldn’t! Its against the TOP GUN policy! No dating co-workers! “If you say so.” Penny says, breaking my trance from my thoughts “Can I just have my usual please penny?” Bradley says, hinting at the Jimmy deans whiskey. “Of course Bradley.” Penny says, reaching for the whiskey, and handing me my vodka “Here pine.” “Thank you penny!” I say, taking a small sip of it “Its no problem at all Buddy, here Bradley.” She replys, handing Bradley his whiskey “Thanks penny.” He says “No problem you too. Now I need to go clean up the back. I’ll be back in a while, get along.” “Ma’am yes ma’am!” Me and Bradley say, as we salute, penny walks into the back. Its just me and Bradley.. “So, pine.” Bradley says, taking a drink of his whiskey. “Yes rooster?” I reply, “Do you need anything?” I follow, “No no. Do you like anyone? I’m asking because you asked me.” He says looking at me. “Uhm..yes. I do.” I turn away from his sight, looking at the bar table. “Oh? Who is it?” He askes, Thinking it may be hangman or Bob. “Uhm. Well..-“ I get cut off by penny “Im back you guys! How did you guys get along?” She askes, looking at us seeing if we have cuts or anything. “We got along amazingly!” I say smiling “Yeah. We did.” Bradley says, placing his arm around my shoulder. God it felt like heaven. “Thats good. We are closing in about 15 minutes, think you guys might wanna head out.” Penny says “Okay! See you tomorrow penny!” I say, standing up and walking to the door. “Bye pine! Goodbye Bradley.” She smiles at me and looks at Bradley, Shooing him off “Okay okay! Bye! God.” He says, getting up and walking over to me and opening the door “Pretty people first.” He says, winking at me. “Well thank you there Mr. Bradshaw.” I smile and walk through the door, starting to walk to my house. “Where are you going sweetheart?” Bradley askes, confused. “Im going home. Why?” I turn around to face him, “Because its 2:30AM. I don’t want you to get hurt baby doll.” Bradley says, as he walks closer and hugs me “I’ll be fine Bradley! I promise!” I say, Hugging him back. “Please ride with me. I don’t want something to happen to you.” He says worried. “Fine. I’ll ride in the bronco with you.” I reply. “Was that so hard now dear?” He askes picking me up and taking me to the bronco, sitting me in the passenger seat “oh whatever rooster!” I say, annoyed “Don’t get snippy with me! I’ll be snippy right back!” He says, getting into the drivers seat, starting the bronco and driving “Mhm sure.” I say “But I do have a crush. I was going to say who it was till I was rudely interrupted by penny.” I follow. “Oh?” He says “Who is It.” He follows. “It’s someone~”

[ ELLOOOOO! You all get a cliff hanger even tho we ALL know its bradley. Let me know if you want anymore or if I should just stop. I‘m open for anything! Bye guys! Please eat, drink, do everything you need to. Your loved and have a good day/evening/night!❤️ im also going to tag someone who I hope to be friends with!:) @roost3rswhore ]

[askuemki]

woo!!! glad you are <3

Wonder when season two will come out, Ik its some time this year.. Out of the RE8 villans though, Donna Beneviento has my heart!! She's really tragic as a character and it makes me want to give her a fat hug Mother Miranda does have a really cool design (and Dimitrescu), the whole crow aesthetic is neat I don't think it's outwardly stated that she's a lesbian But there's definitely quite a few good hints here and there w/ her whole man-hating spiel, and castle full of statues w/ women (from what i've heard) So in my book? I'm calling her gay lmao An epic way to go would maybe to do something with explosions, or something actually heroic, if not than I agree, going to sleep would be best Noted <3 Terrifying stuffed animals has its charm, I remember seeing these people trying to make this one stuffed bear, but it looked like it was ripped out of a chainsaw -- it made me giggle Yeah it's probably because of the hot summer weather.. Plus there's tiny cracks in the back porch door where they can crawl in easily :( Honestly that way seems more helpful than buying new clothes, cheaper tailoring would probably have people keep their clothes more Man I remember donating stuff to goodwill (long, long ago) and saw some vintage tub full of barbie dolls were like 5-7 bucks.. Haven't been there since and I don't think ill return I remember sometimes starting to answer but then not feeling in the mood (bc I don't wanna have dry crappy answers) so i give up n start again later And the disgusting bathroom floor.. I hate when clothes touch the floors... And yeah w/ skirts you can just take them and its like the quickest in and out INDEED. Tiktok kinda fucked up my attention span too, I hate it I haven't been on there for a long, long while and idk if i'll return there.. old ladies are pretty neat though (least the sane ones) I'm the kind of person that doesn't keep up w/ more of the mainstream stuff, or my mainstream stuff is different than yours Not every person can get a gun, but the needed stuff doesn't seem much to deter people from getting a gun sighs you can have all of my burgers than, I never ate that patty meat and I don't think I'll ever trust it I think France can fit right inside texas, plus you can drive here for hours and remain in the same state, while in France you drive 60 minutes and you're in a whole different country I'm really nitpicky on what I get, so usually I get little to nothing new items like majority of the year Unless my mother walks in with a random product Small details weren't exactly hard, you just had to zoom in REALLY close, especially on the phone instead of an ipad Yeah the stylus is an electric pen! mine is battery powered I don't know if the glove has a name, but that's exactly what it's used for I have one that's a tad oversized for me, but I don't really use it

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl

[bewarebugbear]

OH GOD WE FORGOT TO POST OUR SHIT HERE

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright 

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area” 

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck. 

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan 

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend. 

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

[ireniceidolon]

You know what? It's a new day. I've rested, and I'm willing to say that the Cats (2019) fans are right. Cats (2019) is actually a good movie if you just ignore:

The obnoxiously loud "overtune" music that starts off the movie and reminds me of a circus show. It becomes a motif throughout the neverending song that we might call a movie here.

The idea of how frightened Victoria must be in the first scene. She's trapped in this bag, having been forcibly thrown onto rotten wood and other garbage. Then all she can see as she struggles to open- basically- her personalized bodybag, dozens of shadows cloud above you wordlessly

The entire Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats song. It was 5 minutes of hearing the world Jellicle without ever knowing what it means except that Jellicle cats ask wayyyy too many questions

The Fatphobia

The Beatles with human faces scene- we all know why

The cats all drinking milk and then not puking everywhere (thank god) meaning all of the Jellicle cats are actually children so keep that in mind when we get to the:

HORNY CAT RUBBING. And like? It's not even like what real cats do. Real cats actively push parts of their body into your hands if you pet them and stuff but the cats in Cats (2019) just kind of linger with their touches which makes it 100% more sexual than necessary

The music actually never stops. You think a song stops and they'll start talking but nope! It's a song- sucks for you. Even when the songs dip in volume then

The circus music that comes back in whenever there's silence but no circus appears. The circus is actually the theatre itself. You're the clown for attempting to watch this movie

"Did he just get neutered?"

The way the cats eat (?)

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer being kinda trash cat burglars. Like tbh? They didn't even mess up the house that much. Like that's two seconds of picking things up and I didn't even see them leave with anything

The implication of the dog having a human face since all of the other animals do

The way we don't know a single thing about Victoria, who we follow for a large majority of the movie, until half way through the movie.

Ian McKellen (cat form) lapping up liquid in a dark abandoned closet

Old Deuteronomy literally BUSTS open her Ken doll cat pussy to show her approval for Gus's performance

McCavity without his coat. Oh god- please put the coat back on McCavity. I'll make you the jellicle choice- just please don't show me your terrifying fur

Once McCavity takes off his coat every other cat that wasn't wearing a coat before feels noticeably more naked

The fact that none of the cats know that being the jellicle choice actually rebirths you. Like Judi Dench just kinda promises it but there's no proof. For all they know Jennifer Hudson (cat form) just died from asphyxiation and temperature loss

Forcing Mr. Mistofelees to have a weird ship with Victoria instead of letting him be an iconic gay magician cat

Rebel Wilson (cat form) making the unzipping her skin her character quirk

The fact that you have no idea how magic works in this world because uhhhh there was so much singing and "cgi realistic" cats taking up time to set up anything but a single plot point (the jellicle choice) so when Mr. Mistofelees can suddenly teleport things after only doing street magic tricks or when McCavity can suddenly not teleport onto the floating chandelier you have no idea why

"Dogs are not cats"

The whole movie. What I'm saying is that if you just ignore the whole movie- it's uhhhh pretty decent

[slowpocalypsecooking]

the top 8 tracks on folklore from least to most embarrassing to enjoy

Hi I’m Anthony Fantano and welcome to the needle drop. I don’t know if he says that, because I don’t watch him—if I wanted to listen to a repulsive white man talk about music, I could just go on a date. (just kidding, covid!)

Forgoing any further introduction, here are the top eight tracks from Taylor Swift’s new album, low-caps “folklore,” ranked from least embarrassing to most embarrassing to enjoy, according to me. The whole album is 16 tracks long, but I’m only doing the most noteworthy half because 16 is too many. You’re welcome for that decision.

Methodology: To get on this list, songs had to be both embarrassing and enjoyable. There will be natural fluctuation between tracks, but as we go down the list, assume that the songs are getting increasingly better to listen to and worse to think about, like this:

The rankings:

8. cardigan

This is a song about feeling at times like an unloved trash bag, as we all do, and then being warmly reminded that you matter because you are in fact someone’s fallback. The hook goes:

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favorite.

Beyond reveling in this pathetic status, this song serves as an admission that the speaker a. uses the word “cardigan” and b. thinks of those bland, preppy sweaters as a comforting thing to wear. In a cooler universe, this song would be called “flannel.” It is just okay to listen to.

7. mad woman

This song has big Ophelia vibes, big Handmaid’s Tale vibes, big “daughter of the witches you couldn’t burn” vibes. One of the verses contains the line “and women like hunting witches too,” because, hey, woman-on-woman misogyny is bad, didn’t you know. Strong reminder that if being called crazy is the worst form of oppression you’ve experienced, you still have it pretty good. Sometimes sounds decent, sometimes too croony.

6. invisible string

This one uses a pretty lazy, commonplace device: She opens couplets within verses by just naming colors, and uses these to create a simple repetitive structure for introducing random, useless details:

green was the color of the grass where i used to read at centennial park i used to think i would meet somebody there teal was the color of your shirt when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop you used to work at to make a little money

Sure this device is tired, but that’s only the surface of what’s embarrassing here. More embarrassing is the image I’ve conjured of a teal-shirted teenage boy smiling through his braces behind the toppings station at one of those blindingly lit American-kawaii froyo stores. I don’t know who needs to hear this but don’t fuck the froyo boy. Song is pretty catchy.

5. illicit affairs

Title says it all here: This song is about how thrilling and fun and ultimately horrible it is to be involved in a romantic situation you’re not supposed to be in, and how that forbidden sheen can get you totally enthralled with a crappy garbage man. Not a whole lot going on below the surface. This song is both very enjoyable and very embarrassing because it is very relatable.

4. seven

We are back to the aggressive levels of white woman previously seen in “mad woman,” only the case has gotten much more severe. Here’s this song’s final chorus:

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Pack your dolls and a sweater We'll move to India forever Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long

Okay let’s just skate past the part where a presumed adult is telling a fellow adult (I sure hope!) to bring their dolls when they run away together. That in itself is too big a can of worms to crack open. What I want to talk about is the line “We’ll move to India forever,” which pretty obviously uses an Orientalist fantasy of India as some nebulous, ethereal image of the East. Real people don’t live there; it’s the exotic dreamland where sweet-tea drinking southern belles bring their adult toys when they elope. This song is very catchy.

3. betty

Let me start by saying that now that we’re in the top three, all of the remaining songs are vying for the #1 slot. I could very easily see this and the next as the  Most Embarrassing to Enjoy. But “betty” is clocking in at number three today.

This is a song about a teenage romance gone bad, in which a speaker named James (who is “only seventeen, I don’t know anything”) has cheated on a girlfriend (Betty) and is now considering showing up at her party, begging for forgiveness, and hoping for a kiss in the garden. We get the backstory in the bridge:

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said "James, get in, let's drive" Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

First of all, “figment” of “intentions” is not really a phrase? But secondly, and more importantly: Excited bloggers all over the internet have posted a smattering of theories detailing why this song is Taylor Swift’s coded revelation that she actually maybe fucks girls, too, y’know, and hey, maybe the object of this song is the supermodel Karlie Kloss, whose middle name is Elizabeth. Apparently Taylor Swift is named after James Taylor, so she could be James, or at the very least James could be a woman. I’m going to allow for the possibility that the speaker “James” is a woman, because why not; it does not change the narrative. But said narrative doesn’t make sense: who is this woman pulling up next to James and picking them up on the cobblestone? Did James really spend all summer with her, and if so, why? James is only seventeen by the time they get back to ask Betty’s forgiveness, so like, where the hell are James’s parents? Do they not care that their child has gone off for the whole summer with a person I can only picture as a cheetah-print-and-goggles-wearing divorcee driving a convertible?

Furthermore, the Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift fan theories are gross for the simple reason that these two tall skinny white women look pretty much exactly the same. What is it with the internet’s obsession with wanting practically identical people to hook up? There might be an incest thing going on there that you guys could stand to reflect on. And on the more cynical conspiracy-theorizing side, couldn’t this just be some convenient queerbaiting? Didn’t Taylor Swift get criticized for appropriating gay rhetoric and imagery for “You Need to Calm Down,” like, 20 minutes ago? If she were going to come out, wouldn’t it have been an ideal moment to do so when she was under fire for that? I’m not saying all celebrities are shallow opportunists, but, you know, maybe.

This song is infectious. You will need to lobotomize me to get it out of my head.

2. exile

I know I originally said this was gonna be number one but I lied. It is pretty rough, though. This track features Bon Iver, and it’s not the high-pitched sad boy of “Skinny Love” renown. This Bon Iver is deep-voiced and country, like Bon Iver playing Tim McGraw in an uncomfortable SNL parody. Also, the whole song is centered around the tired and overused metaphor that a person is a place, and the person the speaker is pining after is home, and the speaker is in exile because they can’t go home to the person they love. It’s a heartache-ballad, cry-sing in your car, absolute jam.

1. the last great american dynasty

I really tried not to let this be number one. I really didn’t want it to be, which is precisely why it is. This was the track that first alerted me to the entire album’s release, because Ed Markey supporters on Twitter seized on it and decided it was about the downfall of the Kennedy family. It is not. The opening verse goes:

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name and money And the town said, "How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"

This is very obviously about a real couple, Rebekah and William (Bill) Hale Harkness, who had a real mansion in Rhode Island that they called “Holiday House.” The Harkness name is on basically every building in Connecticut and a lot of the Northeast because Stephen Harkness, Bill Hale Harkness’s great uncle, was a founder of Standard Oil along with John D. Rockefeller. In 2013, Taylor Swift bought the property known as “Holiday House,” as she says in the song:

Fifty years is a long time Holiday House sat quietly on that beach Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits And then it was bought by me

The cool, fun, left-ish internet reading of this song is that it’s a revolutionary tale about toppling class hierarchy—getting a hold of wealth and bringing the institution that created it to its knees by… “fill[ing] the pool with champagne”? How much would that amount of champagne even cost? This is not a song about revolution. Taylor Swift didn’t storm into the Standard Oil house and burn it down or take it over; she bought it. It is not a song about destabilizing the ruling class. It’s a song about joining it.

It absolutely fucking slaps, unfortunately.

[finn0]

All the houses I’ve lived in

1. 94 Queens Rd, New Lambton, NSW

My parents current house since 1989 and the house I’ve had sex with the most people in. A regular two storey house opposite bush on a nice street with neighbours that don’t talk to you (perfect). 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms with air con, a big fireplace, pool and massive garage. Lovely, but I don’t expect to inherit it so the attachment must remain minimal.

2. 11 Cobb Ct, Annandale, QLD

Okay formative toddler years were spent here. A tropical style bungalow with the lowest ceilings you’ve ever seen and even lower hanging ceiling fans (take off your shirt with caution). A massive pool constantly populated with cane toads year round that saturated the yard with chlorine every time a cyclone blew through. More floor space than is necessary for anyone. Horrible, angry neighbours that hated children. Short walk to shops, no air con despite Townsville being the armpit of the country. I spent almost all of time sitting on a Big Bird beanbag watching Sesame Street and screaming in abject terror every time there was a toad sitting in the toilet bowl (which was worryingly frequent).

3. 27 Woodrose Cres, Sinnamon Park, QLD

Literally the ugliest house I’ve ever seen in my life. Gaudy, over-tiled, far too big for any family, nothing but white tiles everywhere and not a tree, nor plant, nor weed in the backyard, just grass the colour of hay. Who in Brisbane requires an attic? Who requires THAT many bedrooms? What the FUCK is that suburb name? This house we thankfully lived in for no more than 7 months but good God what a relief.

4. 45 Clarence Rd, Waratah, NSW

My grandmother Bessie’s house. We lived there for a year while I was in pre-school and while my parents house was being renovated. Absolutely fascinating house that each grandchild loved to visit. The most bizarre things were to be found there. First of all it was a regular 2 bedroom home with gaudy wallpaper and a 1950′s kitchen and bathroom, plenty of living space etc. BUT the bizarre flat that was downstairs under the house that was built for my great-grandmother to inhabit was like stepping a 1950′s motel room. Pea green bathroom, pink kitchen, rising damp, mouldy wallpaper, dust upon dust upon bugs upon discarded venetian blinds. Oh my goodness it was amazing down there. It smelled like a nursing home. PLUS under the house was this enormous space all covered in dirt and other crap and trinkets and sheets. ZERO light penetrated this space and therefore was the best place to crawl around and get spooked. The laundry, also under the house, had high ceilings that were stained a Jackson Pollock amount of colours from years of laundry and rising damp and rain leaks AND leading from under the cupboards in the kitchen upstairs was a laundry chute that led all the way down to the laundry WHICH smaller grandchildren could actually fit into and snake their way down to avoid the prying eyes of older cousins during games of hide and seek. Until you were too big to fit. Like I found out one day. Not an easy search and rescue mission, I’ll tell you that. OH AND the back bedroom had some creepy as shit naked dolls with no hair and meth eyes that rolled back in their head along with like strange 60′s childrens paraphenalia and tiny trinkets that I later found out were things like ACTUAL jewels from Scotland and vintage broken Rolex watches. Also I remember sleeping in that room in my mothers childhood single bed while she slept next to me in another, while my father slept next to my grandmother in a separate single bed in her room (why??). Later after she died, new owners bought the place and my mother met them after a few years and asked if they thought the place was haunted to which they replied an unequivocal “YES”, my mother then asked if they left dishes out in the sink of a night, to which they replied “.....yes” and Mum was like “Well that’s the culprit, my mother would NEVER allow that” and the look of understanding coupled with genuine fear cements the fact that my grandmother was and is a motherfucking force to be reckoned with, alive or dead.

5. 7/58 High St, Randwick, NSW

I moved to Sydney! Why? I don’t know! My partner was doing a degree at UNSW and I went with him because I was 21 and couldn’t stand my parents any longer so I buggered off. Now. This apartment was a second floor walk-up in a WW1 era building opposite a hospital and BEHIND a Coles loading dock. Plus there was a screaming autistic Arabian child downstairs and the loudest dog you’ve ever heard next door. Serene. Peaceful. Damaging to the psyche. We lived with my partners brother which was fine, but that place not only had no heating nor ceiling fans it also had no flyscreens. I didn’t even have my own set of keys. I shared ONE set of keys with my partner for two years. Fucking ridiculous. Yes, the food nearby was good. Yes, I commuted back to Newcastle most weekends to keep my casual job. Yes the neighbours were fascinating, ranging from the American guy across the way who never ever closed his bathroom window and gave me many shows of his frankly monstrous penis, to the chainsmoking nurse below who had a permanent frown despite living across the street from her work, to the Koreans downstairs who constantly cooked delicious barbecue while pretending to not speak English, to the gorgeous gay couple who lived above us who could add a new synonym to the dictionary to define “unfriendly”. We got out just before the new light rail was to begin construction right outside our building, but regardless, because of all the noise that surrounded that place before that, I now can sleep through the sound of a fucking jet engine roaring right next to my face.

6. 145 Wilson St, Carrington, NSW

Back to Newy! Okay so this was the first house we even Googled when looking for a new place back in Newcastle, and weirdly, we got it!. It was a tiny cottage in a harbourside suburb that was across the the street from wheat silos that are literally the size of Windsor castle. The day we moved in, a representative of the Port Authority knocked on our door and told us that if we ever heard a particular siren, that it meant the silos were on fire and an explosion was imminent and that we would have about 10 minutes to evacuate before half the city was Hiroshima-ed. Lovely welcome. We heard that siren (or a siren at least) about 50 times in the 2 years we were there. Pretty alarming, as it were. Anyway, the house was literally 3 rooms and a kitchen, 2 tiny cubicle afterthought bathrooms, and a nice big back deck. Now I was happy there, it had everything I needed, it was pleasant. I had a good garden going and I really learned to cook there. Carrington is where my family is originally from, and it was easy to walk everywhere and I loved the history of it. However, our landlord was a Chinese lady called Winnie who could not have misunderstood the concept of landlord responsibilities less. Any repairs or things we needed, she was not just unavailable but actively apathetic. It was like pulling teeth to get her to even communicate to the property manager in even basic English in regards to anything we required. Our neighbours on one side were a lovely couple with 2 babies but they had a dog called Trippi that would bark whenever someone in the opposite hemisphere coughed, and on the other side were a couple in their 70′s who were both suffering dementia, constantly screaming at each other and who also had two elderly dogs that would bark whenever someone nearby inhaled. For two years I heard literally nothing except Matt’s piano, Trippi barking, the other dogs barking, the neighbours angrily SCREAMING at one another, wheat silo alarms, screeching train tracks and coal tankers blasting their horns as they entered the harbour. Again, seasoned professional, can sleep through anything.

7. 46 Garden Grove Pde, Adamstown Heights, NSW

Alright, so two friends of mine, also a couple, were living in a tiny half house situation and also wanted out of their place, so we decided to all move in together, into a place that was much larger and that we could all collectively afford. So we found this lovely large house with 4+ bedrooms so that we could all have our own space and get on rather well. And it worked out! My partner and I had a great big bedroom, Matt had his own study, we had a library, a music room, and my friends had an enormous bedroom downstairs plus a huge bathroom/laundry AND there was 3 tiers of yard that we grew all sorts of vegetables in, plus it had a driveway that looped around (I would call it a plantation driveway?) so heaps of space for everyone. It was great, plenty of space for guests which we had a lot of, plenty of outdoor areas for entertaining, it was wonderful. But unfortunately my friends relationship ended and an old friend took one of their places for a year (also fine) but eventually it turned out that the place was getting sold and after literally months of surprise inspections and open houses we’d all had enough and decided to move out separately. Now this so far has been my favourite place. It was 10 minutes to work, everyone had their own space and we lived, I think, pretty well harmoniously together. But nothing good lasts so now...!\

8. *** Kings Rd, New Lambton, NSW

From Queens Rd to Kings Rd! We found a gorgeous house right near a train station that I am currently in and pretty happy with. For the first time I have ceiling fans again plus air con and FOUR bedrooms that I barely know what to do with. Currently I’m sitting in my study surrounded by all my books with the fan on typing this out and it feels good to have my own space for a change and actually have trouble furnishing a house as opposed to making concessions about what I keep and what I can’t. I’ve planted a veggie garden, I have my kitchen the way I want, and the house has been renovated, re-carpeted, painted and made livable for a modern couple. We have spare space for guests (or a spare room for me when I don’t want to wake up Matt when I go to bed at 3am, but that’s the sleep pattern of a shift worker) and overall I feel good about it. Finally. I’ve been looking for a good home to just COME HOME to for ages and for a long time I haven’t really felt that. My last home was lovely, but honestly 3 tiers of gardens to maintain and roommates (though they remain dear friends) are just not what I want to deal with anymore. Actually not even that, I’d be fine with roommates, but it’s just nice to feel like I have MY house and it’s mine to come home to.

Anyway, apologies for this long post, and I know barely anyone will read it, but I started this blog TEN years ago so and I don’t have a print journal to write all of this stuff in, so I might as well talk here. HOUSES! If they’re not haunted, then where’s the drama we so desperately crave?

[pop-punklouis]

hey hope!! i’ve completely run out of things to watch recently and was wonderinf if you had any recs of movies and tv shows??

HI! 

It’s your lucky day because I have found myself in a hole of watching many new things lately that I’ve more or less found enjoyable so hopefully you will too? lol

1. Russian Doll:  Nadia, a young woman who is on a journey to be the guest of honor at a party in New York City. But she gets caught in a mysterious loop as she repeatedly attends the same event and dies at the end of the night each time – only to awaken the next day unharmed as if nothing had happened.

(I know I’m late to the party with that one, but it is quite literally one of the best comedy-dramas I’ve seen in a long while, not to mention Natasha Lyonne, the ultimate babe, stars in it. It is, blatantly, obvious that the script was written by women (thank god) and it has a cool, mind-trip twist at the end that’ll have you guessing what actually was happening the entire time. Super easy to binge!! 10/10)

2. Perfume:  When a woman is found murdered with scent glands excised from her body, a detective probes a group of friends who attended boarding school with her.

(A German mystery-crime-thriller that is way too convoluted and intertwined to know the real culprit of the grisly yet complex murders until the few minutes of the last episode. It has an incredibly intriguing script with intricate details and dialogue. Pleasantly surprised by how solid the entire storyline and characters were. TW though!! There are scenes of obscene sex, implied rape, domestic abuse, and sexual assault. So be careful if those things trigger you. Watching it in German with English subtitles is the way to go, though. Trust me.)

3. Handsome Devil:  Two opposites, a loner and the top athlete become friends at a rugby-obsessed boarding school, and the authorities test their friendship.

(An irish coming-of-age LGBT film that, again, pleasantly surprised me with how well it was executed underneath the guise of an overly cliche storyline. It’s winning, compelling, and quite moving with how it tackles individuality in teens. It’s just a great film that takes tropes and turns them on their head by transforming the characters in their own way. Not to give too much away but the talk one of the boys have with the English professor on the rugby field at night is so, so important as an open dialogue.) 

4. Dumplin’:  The plus-size, teenage daughter of a former beauty queen signs up for her mum’s pageant as a protest that escalates when other contestants follow in her footsteps, revolutionising the pageant and their small Texas town.

(As you can probably guess this film is an emotionally-impactful conversation about self-acceptance that rides on the back of societal expectations of young women all tied together in a very heart-warming coming-of-age drama. Also there’s loads of Dolly Parton music. What else is there to say)

5. The Lobster:  In a dystopian society, single people must find a mate within 45 days or be transformed into an animal of their choice.

(Isn’t a new watch, but I was reminded of it recently. Just an extended Black Mirror episode, pretty much. It’s odd. It’s bizarre. It’s engaging. It’s a lot of things, and they are great.)

6. Shirkers:  In 1992 teenager Sandi Tan shoots Singapore’s first road movie with her enigmatic American mentor, Georges, who then absconded with all of the footage. The 16 mm film is recovered 20 years later, sending Tan, who is now a novelist living in Los Angeles, on a personal odyssey in search of Georges’ footprints.

(One of my favorite documentaries I’ve seen in a while, mainly because it doesn’t exactly feel like a documentary. It feels like you’re privvy to the incredibly frustrating, disheartening, and determined story of friendship, women-bound creativity, youth, and dishonesty when it comes to the mystery of where and why Georges disappeared. It’s also empowering in a way to see the transition of these young women reclaiming their lives after such betrayal.)

7. Grace & Frankie:  For as long as they can recall, Grace and Frankie have been rivals. Their one-upmanship comes crashing to a halt, however, when they learn that their husbands have fallen in love with each other and want to get married. As everything around the ladies is coming apart, the only thing they can really rely on is each other.

(I’ve been living under a rock, sue me. This show is fanfuckingtastic. Just watch it. Just binge it. Just do it.)

8. Voyeur:  Gay Talese investigates Gerald Foos, a Colorado motel owner who spies on his guests. Using a carefully constructed platform in the motel’s attic, Foos documents his guests most private moments, from the mundane to the shocking.

(Just a frustratingly and horrifyingly sad and strange recollection of two men who act as an incredibly interesting character study if nothing else. Recommend)

9. Some Freaks:  A charming romance develops between a boy with one eye and an overweight girl, though when she loses her weight after going to college, their relationship is tested in devastating ways they never dreamed would happen.

(….. I still don’t know how I feel about this movie. I’ve watched it twice, once alone and once with a friend, and I’m still conflicted on my lasting thoughts about the film and its message. It’s definitely something I suggest watching, at least, to come to your own conclusions about how it made you feel. It’s just. uncomfortable in the strangest of ways, and I just need more people to converse about it with lmao)

10. The Kindergarten Teacher:  A teacher sees such great promise in her 5-year-old student that she goes to unreasonable lengths to protect his talent.

(I watched this film on a whim one day while off from work, and I was pleasantly surprised by its depth and heartbreaking tendencies. This film does not evoke anything but unsettled feelings and yearning for both the young boy and the teacher. Many people tend to gloss over the fact that this film does so much more than its superficial narrative. it opens such a bigger conversation into what absence and neglect of personal creativity and art through someone’s marriage and family can cause them to in-turn have an unhealthy obsession with wanting to keep a child’s love/talent for art alive. Haunting but great film.)

11. Mr. Roosevelt:  A struggling LA-based comedian goes home to Austin, Texas, when a family member becomes ill and finds herself in the awkward position of staying with her ex and his amazing new girlfriend.

(Friend found this hidden-gem on Netflix, and it’s such a quirky, comforting, easy-watch that I miss a lot in indie films. It’s progressive and weird in all the right ways, and it leaves you with a cozy feeling inside once the film reaches its end.)

12. Queer Eye Season 3

(You know the drill just more feel-good reality-television makeover that makes all of us a little bit happier about humanity’s ability to be kind)

13. Happy Anniversary:  On their three-year anniversary, Molly and Sam are at a crossroads and need to decide whether to move forward or call it quits.

(Another hidden gem found on Netflix that I ended up thoroughly enjoying. It comes across as a real, genuine, non-exaggerated look at the inside of a couple’s relationship. It’s candid, fun, witty in dialogue, and heartwarming towards the end. I’ll admit I got a bit misty eyed at 1 AM lol also the dude who plays jean-ralphio is one of the mains so c’mon.)

14. Class Rank:  When her class rank threatens her college plans, an ambitious teen convinces a nerdy peer to run for the school board to abolish the ranking system.

(Listen up, I watched this film because I was under the impression that it was going to be a b-rated teen film I could be amused by, but it ended up being a sorta cute story that I enjoyed a lot more than I probably should’ve RIP. Give it a shot).

15. Cam:  A camgirl has her principles, until a mysterious woman who looks just like her takes over her channel.

(Don’t take the general critic review to heart and watch the film, yourself. It’s. a ride. It definitely gave me chills as much as it made me uncomfortable. A thriller with twists and uneasiness at every corner. Just a real creepy look into AI, especially in industries like the camgirl industry. I do want the girl’s play dungeon tho rip)

[winter-soldatt]

Competetor [Bucky Barnes]

Summary

Bucky and you compete all the damn time. You compete at waking up earliest for heavens sake. Secretly for both of you it's because you wanna impress each other because of your huge ass crush on each other.

Mature: Kissing, Hella Profanity,

Word Count: 1333

Character: James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes

Side Note: I thought of the song Keep On by Kehlani when I writing this!

DISCLAIMER: I know not everyone is petite, short! It's just for the story! Xx. B yourself! Xx

_____

I grabbed my phone and immediately texted Bucky. "Haha, I'm up before your ass." I texted, my door opened. A throaty chuckle sounded, I sighed. "Damnit, why?" I got up and walked over to him,

"Do you even sleep Barnes? I'm pretty sure you don't need to." I complained. He chuckled. "I do actually, or I get cranky. It's like 5 am, what are you doing up anyway?" He asks. "It's competition Friday!" I say, he smiles. "We are still doing that?" He asks, I sigh. "So you don't mind if I get to the donut store first?" I ask, running to my closet and grabbing my clothes.

"Hell fucking no." He mutters and dashes for the elevator. A couple minutes later I follow behind, once I get out of the tower, I see him sprinting like a serial killer was behind him.

"Barnes! Wait up! I have short legs!" I say, he slows down, and turns around to wait for me. Jogging in place. "Your in much better shape than me, this is gonna be unfair." I complained, tying my shoes tightly. "Mhm, you run faster than me, even though your about a foot shorter." He says, I chuckled. "Hey,  don't bring my height into this, I didn't have veggies growing up, ok?" I say, he smiles.

"Your tying your shoes slightly tight." He smiles, and kneels down next to me. "I don't wanna trip, or worry about tripping." I say. "It'll slow me down."

"Sure it will, can I go now?" He asks, "calm down McEager." I say, he chuckled.

"We have to be even, put your right foot on this line." I say, we both put our feet on the line. He looks at me with this intimidating stare, I laugh. "You ready? 3, 2, 1, go!"

We both sprint off, I start off getting in front of him but he sooner or later gets in front of me. There's a gate, being NYC, he jumps up and climbs it, as do I, I just take a bit longer.

"Shit," He takes a breath after he got up it. I get off the gate and run past him. "Winded much?" I yell; he laughs and runs up to me, at my pace. "Not at all."

"I see the store, you better move those feet Barnes." I say, he chuckled. "Way ahead of you doll." He gets faster. "Don't call me that!" I yell, getting to his pace.

"Why not?" He asks, stopping at the busy street. "Because," I say, stopping abruptly next to him with my hands on my hips.

He looks down at me, and smiles. "I'm gonna call you doll for as long as I live." He says. "That's like another century!" I say, "hey, watch it doll." He says, I giggle. "Can we go now? Damn these fucking cars are getting on my goddamn nerves." I mutter, Bucky chuckled.

"We can now." He says, I follow behind him cutting between cars. I see the donut store and remember a faster detour. I take it, Bucky sticks to his route.

Somehow, in some supernatural way, he made it there before me, and already ordered for the tower. "Damn you Barnes." I say, winded. He smiles. "Do you wanna walk back?" He asks. "No, carry me." I say, "and hold donuts?" He asks. "Yes, I'm not that tall." I say, he sighs.

"Fine, but you hold the donuts." He says, I nod, and take the donuts from him. He scoops me up and holds me bridal style. "It's like a 15 minute walk doll." He says. "Well, I'm winded, isn't that McObvious?" I ask, he chuckled. "You just live for those MC jokes don't you." He says; I nod.

We stay mostly silent for the rest of the walk, Steve is waiting outside the tower with tony and Sam. "Barnes, Y/N, where were you two? Steve was worried Barnes wasn't in bed when he woke up." Tony jokes. "Fuck off stark." Bucky says, tony laughs.

"Tony, can you go a day without making gay jokes?" I ask, "last time I checked I'm bi, so FUCK off." I muttered, tony laughed. "That's different Y/N; bi-"

"don't get into it; it's a millennial trap." Some random guy says. "It is not!" I say offended. "Well; it is kinda a trap; if he says something unacceptable, he suddenly a homophobe." Peter says, coming out the glass doors.

"Are you trying to say something Peter?" I ask; he chuckled. "No; no I'm not I'm just saying, everyone makes mistakes?" Peter asks, "what mistake did I make?" Tony asks frustrated. "You tried my sexuality!" I say, "I did?" Tony asks. "Oh my- I'll see you guys inside."

I rush inside, Wanda, Bucky, and Natasha are eating the donuts. "Hey, leave some for me you assholes." I say, scooting next to Bucky in the couch. "I bought a hundred doll, calm down." Bucky says, "Bucky, stop calling me doll! I'm not plastic!" I say, Bucky chuckled.

"Y/N, if someone calls you doll it's a backhanded compliment." Natasha says. "Nat! That doesn't make it better!" I say, "I'm just saying," she says.

"According to the urban dictionary, it's slang for a pretty; but either dumb or expressionless woman; or it means your cute." Wanda says, looking down at her phone. "What?" I say, "well which one do you mean Barnes?" I ask, Bucky chuckles. "I don't know you tell me." He says. "What! Bucky!" I say, Natasha chuckled. "I need a shower," she left to her room.

"I need to make tea; I'm off today, I'll be in the kitchen." Wanda says, leaving me and Bucky alone. I still wanted a answer from him. "Bucky, just tell me I don't wanna guess, I hate guessing, I suck at guessing." I say, he smiles.

"You're actually stuck on this huh?" He asks, I nod. "I really am!" I say, he smiles. "It means your adorable, at least when I say it." He says, I blushed. "You think I'm adorable?" I ask, he nods. "Does that mean you like; like me?" I ask.

"Come here," He says, I raise a eyebrow. "Just come here," He says, chuckling. I get up and sit next to him.

He grabbed the last jelly donut. "This is your favourite right?" He asks, I nod. "I'm gonna eat it, what are you gonna do about that?" I asks, I try to grab it, he sticks half of it in his mouth.

"I'm confused, does this mean you like me?" I ask:

"Do you like me?" He asks. "I-I well, oh." I realized what I was supposed to do, or what he expected me to do:

I leaned in and clasped the other end of the donut with my mouth, pulling on it, and chewing it before

leaning into kiss him. "This is so weird." I say, within our kiss. "It was the only way I could think of getting it across without being a awkward mess." He says, after releasing from our kiss.

"Can you kiss me again?" I ask, "why in the hell would I do that?" He asks; and chuckles. "I'm kidding Y/N," He says, and leans into kiss me again, I grab his hair in a fistful. And kiss him back with lust.

"So this means you like me right?" I ask, he nods: "yes, this means I like you, doll:" he smiles and kisses me again. "I like you too, Barnes."

[pbjpuppy]

do every oc question but with horsepower PLEASE

DUDE I WAS SO HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ABT HER IM SO EXCITED

THIS IS SO LONG SO I’M PUTTING A READMORE

1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

SHE does Not surprisingly!! BUT similarly to Giovanni with his kids, Serene is always sleeping next to her bc she’s Warm and Soft so it’s like, kinda the same thing 

She IS the type to love sleeping with a ton of pillows though

2. Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

Horsie doesn’t have the world’s greenest thumb but she could probably keep a houseplant alive!! She likes nature a lot she’s just not stellar at gardening

She would be REALLY GOOD with a pet though that animal would THRIVE and she’d be the type to take like 400 pictures of her pet and spam everyone with them like “Look at this Fucking Angel” 

And she’s DEFINITELY GOOD W KIDS seeing as she’s basically raising Serene!! Serene can testify that she’s the Best babysitter (even if she accidentially taught Serene like. 20 separate curse words gdgjdsk) 

3. Ask them to describe their love interest.

OOH FUN DIALOGUE

“Um, she’s.. REALLY pretty. Like, really fuckin’ pretty. I think she made me like, 17% more lesbian the first time I saw her. And like, we’ve known each other for a long time and we know each other’s secrets n’ stuff… ahahah, that came out really weird! I just mean we’re good friends, y’know? Hah. Anyway, she’s a bad bitch, I’d die for her. Love her.”

Her love interest is actually a character named Destiny who I havent drawn yet!!

4. Do they look good in red?

I think she could pull it off bc red is in her color scheme but also like.. there’s already so much warm colors!! I think she looks the best in gray or black tbh (like imagine her in a black suit or something she’d look SNAZZY)

5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

“HHuuh WHAT AM I S’POSED TO TALK ABOUT? Fuck. Uh. Respect lesbians.” Mic drop

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

She’ll ALWAYS take advice from her friends, especially Destiny, bc she trusts them to know when she’s being too hot-headed or rash- There’s a character in her friend group who hasn’t got a name yet but he’s REALLY good at giving advice!!

She will NEVER take advice from her old rival Lockjaw, and she shouldn’t- he’s always out to sabotage her somehow and plays dirty a lot of the time, and he’s known to be a huge liar (Plus they just hate each other)

7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

My three words: Fiery, protective, loving!!

Her three words: “Uh.. Gay. Handsome. Wait, scratch that. Gay, HOT, optimist.”

8. Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?

She WANTS to be intrigued but she just gets frustrated and crumples up the paper after a few minutes if it’s not a super easy riddle sjhsjf she knows by now that it’s just Not Worth It

9. Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

She only usually does with like people (or I guess furry)-shaped objects like stuffed animals and dolls, and even then not to an extreme degree- it’s really Serene who has the EXTREME empathy and empathizes with everything!!

10. What age do they most want to be right now?

THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION she misses being a kid like Serene is a lot, but she’s pretty happy where she is- she’s in a better place than she has been for a long time at the current point of her story! If anything, she wishes she could go back and tell her middle/high school self that things are gonna be okay

11. They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?

She’d SAY she’s gonna save it and REALLY try but she wouldn’t be able to resist splurging on some really cool stuff bc COME ON she won the LOTTERY!! She’d also wanna buy gifts for the Monster family because she wants to thank them for how generous they’ve been to her so it’s really very wholesome 

12. Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?

She doesn’t READ that’s for NERDS

JUST KIDDIN but nah she’s not really one for “mushy stuff” and prefers action/adventure stories!! She’s also a fan of mysteries and anything that’s not Painfully Heterosexual 

13. Name one thing their parents taught them.

Her parents weren’t the best, but they did teach her very good manners- she did go through a BIG rebel phase where she definitely was Not as polite, but overall her politeness and natural charisma really help her out in social situations (especially when she has to get favors from people and stuff)

14. Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

I think she’d agree with the term in a general sense!! I’m not sure exactly what guilty pleasures she has, probably just the fact that she can be kind of a thrill-seeker and take unnecessary risks- not involving Serene though ofc

15. What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

The first thing that came to mind is that she considers arguing with people you KNOW aren’t gonna change their mind to be a waste of time- Especially when it comes to social justice type issues she knows not to waste her energy on people who just won’t listen (but she’s argumentative by nature and usually ends up doing it against her better judgement)

16. If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

LEATHER JACKETS AND COOL BOOTS AND SUCH!! She’d also wanna buy a bunch of cool pins to put on said jacket (And she’d probably have to get it tailored bc of her wings too which would also be money..) She would also probably get some kind of cool patterned horseshoes!!

17. Do they like children?

Yes she DOES and Serene is her favorite (Even though she calls her a booger)

19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

NOPE she usually dives into most things headfirst, which can be VERY UNWISE but she feels like it keeps her brain clear to not stress about stuff beforehand  

20. What do they like that nobody else does?

HMM… I don’t really have an answer for this one tbh!! I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, the only thing that I can think of is that she likes waking up REALLY early and the smell of smoke, but lots of people also like those things

21. What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

She’s actually really bad at getting out of situations like that, like if she’s in a relationship she’s not happy in she’s bad at getting herself out of it- but probably something that really make her realize she needs to get outta there would be if the other person seriously hurt her on purpose 

22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?

She LOVES pet names and calls EVERYONE pet names (unless they’re not comfortable ofc)!! Nicknames are kinda hard to make from “Horsepower” so a lot of the time she’s given weird affectionate pet names instead, it’s somthing that she’s kinda known for

DEFINITELY her go-to pet name is “babe”, she calls almost everyone that and I like to imagine that it’s very soothing bc she has a lovely deep voice.. other go-to pet names are baby, hon and love!! She has a lot of personal nicknames/pet names for individual people though 

Tbh she only really refers to someone as their full name if she doesn’t know them or if she’s mad at them shfshf

23. Stability or novelty?

Novelty!! Stability is important to her but she gets bored and anxious if she’s stuck in the same routine for too long, that’s why she likes taking care of Serene bc Serene is ALWAYS doing new things

24. Honesty or charity?

Ooh that’s difficult… Once again both are important values to her, but I’m gonna go with honesty- she’s a very (bluntly) honest person

25. Safety or possibility?

Possibility!! As established before she’s kinda a daredevil she doesn't care about SAFETY (unless it’s anyone else but her doing it then she’s gonna lecture them)

26. Talent or effort?

Effort!! She is EXTREMELY passionate and such an overachiever about everything shkfskh it’s like Hey Horsepower Can You Do This Simple Task For Me and she’s like Oh You Wanted Me To Change The World? I’ll Do That

27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Definitely vengeance she holds grudges REALLY BAD and as kind as she tries to be if someone who hurt her or her friends gets hurt… she can’t help being satisfied

30. What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

OH THATS A HEAVY QUESTION since she holds grudges so bad she’s probably try to get revenge on Lockjaw for all the grief he’s caused her over the years, if she knew she’d be off the hook she’d get really nasty about it bc her anger at him has just been Boiling for years 

WOW THAT TOOK A WHILE BUT IT WAS SO EXTREMELY FUN THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! I’ll do the other one tomorrow bc I need to go to BED 

Also I did cut out a few questions!! I either didn’t wanna answer them or I had answered them before 

[multiverseofimagines]

Bad At Love [ Billy Hargrove x Reader]

Description: Fem!Bi-Reader and Billy Hargrove; Based off Halsey’s song “Bad At Love”

Warnings: Mention of abuse,Cussing, Self Homophobia,Gay slurs and Angst

Authors note: I did use a gay slur, but I only did this to stay true to Billy’s character and the time period. This word I use would never come out of my mouth. Also side note- This fic was super hard for me to write, because a lot of the feelings the reader goes through I have been through, and I also have very bad HOCD so such an open fic about sexuality is very rare from me.

Got a boy back home in Michigan

And it tastes like Jack when I’m kissing him

You were fairly new to Hawkins High School, Hawkins in general really. You moved around a bunch over the past 5 years due to your Father. Your mother and you had jumped ship on him when you were Twelve. It was hard to move at such a young age, especially away from a man who abused you and your mom. Why she didn’t leave earlier? You had no idea, but you resented her ever since. Not just because she let you get abused, but because the two of you never stayed in one place. 

The first place you moved to was Detroit Michigan, you loved the city a lot, and so did your mom. So the two of you stayed there for two years.  This lengthy move earned you a four month relationship with a High school boy.   

You were fourteen and really didn’t know any better, he wasn’t much older than you, around a year. But he had gotten you into some bad shit. This included shoplifting, drinking, smoking and on occasion drugs. Towards the end of the relationship, your mother had decided to move again.

You ended the relationship right there, knowing you two would never cross paths again. 

There’s a guy that lives in a garden state

And he told me that we make it ‘til we graduate

Your second move was to New Jersey, you didn’t really remember anything from the move. It was in the summer, so you weren’t even in school yet. That move had lasted only stayed for two months, until your mother lost her job and had to move again to find work.

All you remembered was the fling you had that summer. Another High school boy, this time two years older than you. You being 15 and him being 17. You really thought this time it was going to last, that this was the boy you would spend the rest of your life with. How naïve? Considering it was a fucking fling.

The relationship ended on your terms. You were confused about a lot of things in your life, and you ended up not wanting to settle down at 15; Still wanting to explore your options.

I believe That I’m in too deep

You had only been in Hawkins for a month now, and it was happening again. That butterfly feeling. The rosy cheeks, the stomach flips, the shy smiles. You knew it all too well. You were terrified to let yourself go through all that again.

Got a girl with California eyes And I thought that she could really be the one this time But I never got the chance to make her mine

Your last move was to the sunny state of California. This was your favourite place you had moved to. If you had it your way, you would never have left. Maybe if things would have turned out differently, maybe if your heart didn’t yearn for the touch of her fingertips, you wouldn’t have been in this mess.

She had moved to California a year prior from London. She was an outgoing girl that had always left you begging for more of her time,though you weren’t even dating. Just merely fooling around. Despite this you had grown to love her deeply.

But school got bad; People had found out, and they weren’t the most accepting. This led to a lot of self hate and confusion. Were you gay? or Were you straight? The question sunk deep into your soul, tearing you apart each day.

This, whatever it had been ended badly. She ended up getting angry at you for not knowing what you wanted, leaving you to let her go. It’s not that you didn’t know what you wanted, it’s that you wanted both.

Look, I don’t mean to frustrate, but I Always make the same mistakes, yeah

In Hawkins no one knew about your bi-tendencies, and you wanted it to stay that way. That changed the minute he smirked at you, the minute his ocean blue eyes flicked up and down upon your already used body. Not knowing the skeletons you had hidden in your closet, but you knew his.

I know that you’re afraid I’m gonna walk away

Billy Hargrove had a reputation, no doubt. But you had looked past all of that, once again letting your heart make decisions before your brain could. He wasn’t a saint, that’s for sure. A real dick mostly, but once he met you it’s like his whole world had flipped upside down. As if he wasn’t afraid to show compassion towards another human being anymore. He started to drive his sister around without complaining as much, did house chores and cut most female encounters out of his life, for you.

He knew he had to, or else you probably would of never gave him the time of day. He could tell you were closed off, scared. 

And he was right.

It was the night of Tina’s New years bash, Billy and You had been respectfully invited. You guys came together as friends, but everyone knew there was something deeper.

Billy and you stayed close together, quiet attached at the hip, so to speak. This was mostly out of protection, he knew you were awkward and didn’t really know anyone but him, so he made sure to stand by you the whole night. 

But Billy knew it would be rude to not pay any attention to his friends the entire night, so he dragged you outside to go formally meet his friend Tommy.

Tommy was absolutely smashed and for the most part incoherent, but when he had met you, his words were as clear as water.

“ Hey! Tommy!” Billy called out to him, gesturing him to come over to the two of you. 

Tommy ran over to Billy, leaving the people he was originally conversing with.

“ Hey Mr. Keg King!” Tommy exclaimed as he and Billy did their signature handshake, “ Are you gonna be showin’ off your keg skills tonight?”

Billy laughed slightly, he turned to look at you, then back to Tommy, “Nah man. Designated driver.” You smiled at this, happy that he was following the rule you had laid down.

That happiness was soon pushed away almost instantly by the drunk boy’s word barf.

“ Are you guys like- dating?” He asked, his eyes flicking between you and Billy. “ I thought she was gay-” His words cut into you deeply as he stared at both you and Billy wide eyed. This was the first time in Hawkins that anyone had said anything to you about your sexuality.

His words replayed over and over as you started to panic. Your chest felt heavy, your eyes brimmed with tears.

“ I have to go.” You softly said, loud enough for Billy to hear you though. With that, you found your self walking back into the crowded house. The walls spun around you as you tried to find an escape from the madness.

You found a staircase leading up to the top floor of the house, cautiously walking up it to find yourself among four bedrooms and a bathroom. You walked into the first bedroom on your right, closing the door behind you.

You sat on the prink frilly bed, the moonlight illuminating the posters upon the wall of what you assumed was Tina’s bedroom. It was pathetically girly.

“ Maybe if I was ‘pathetically girly’ I wouldn’t be called ‘gay’ “ You cried softly, slumping your head. “ Maybe if I wasn’t so ‘manly’-” That’s when the door flew open, causing you to lift your head once again, eyes glued to the door.

It was Billy, the boy who had a grasp on your heart. The boy who now thought you were queerer than that Harrington kid he so desperately hated.

“  Aw, Doll.” He said softly, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the tears streaming down your cheeks. You lifted up your sleeves to dry your eyes, but he had already seen the damage done. He carefully sat down on the bed beside you, draping an arm over your shoulders. 

“ You okay?

“No.” He sighed, knowing it was a dumb question to ask, obviously you weren’t okay.

“ Is it true?” He asked, “ Are you gay?’ You stayed silent , not knowing how to let the words escape from your mouth.

“You know I wouldn’t walk away if you were. I’d just feel like an idiot for likin’ yah.” He laughed awkwardly, his gaze focusing on the moonlit wall, away from your stare.

“ Its complicated.” you replied sighing; His head snapping back towards you, his thumb tracing circles upon your arm.  You were quick to turn your eyes away from him, scared that his stare would burn right into you.

“ But,” He looked at you, waiting upon an explanation of some sort. Anxiety filling at the pit of his stomach, something he didn’t usually have when being around girls. But with you, it was present.

“ I like you.” You smiled to yourself a little bit, blushing.

Billy was pretty dumbfounded, he didn’t understand the whole concept of Bisexuality, and he was too in his feelings to understand what you were implying.

“ But- You like girls?” Billy lifted his arm away from you, scared that he had been friend zoned. This boy was completely and utterly confused, you turned to look at him, laughing slightly.

“ That’s the point dumbass,” You breathed in deeply and then out before saying out loud the words you had been wanting to say for the past five years,  “ I’m Bi ” saying it was like a breath of fresh, crisp air.

“Huh?” He cocked an eyebrow, not knowing what you meant.

“ I- I like girls and guys.” You explained gingerly. “ That includes you.” poking his bare chest on the “ You. “ 

You know I’m bad at love 

He felt his stomach turn from anxiety to flips of excitement, he didn’t even care about you liking girls anymore, just at the fact you liked him.

You both leaned in so that your foreheads were now touching, you stared up at his blue eyes, this time not looking away; Allowing his stare to burn right into your soul.

He leaned in closer to you, lips almost attached to yours, with the biggest shit eating grin on his face, he said something you would never forget.

“ You know, your pretty bad at being a Dyke. ”  And with that, he kissed you passionately. Leaving you for the first time, thinking you weren’t too bad at this whole ‘ love thing.’

[singingpuddle]

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Horrors of Pennhurst Asylum”

Sup, ya spooks. Here we go again.

(Btw I was reading this amazing Destiel fic on AO3 before doing this so that might leak through a little.)  (link here)

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

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Me: Not even five seconds in and he already spooked.

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Me: Shane you look like a twink, Ryan... you look like a smaller twink.

R: Not even a minute in and she is starting with the gay stuff.

Me: Touché

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Me: Could you not do the speedy uppy thing, it gets on my nerves? ... Thank

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Me: You always do this Rye, you psych your self up and get scared easier because of it.

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(+1 for the way Ryan looks at Shane)

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Me: Ok, that was cute.

R: What?

Me: The way Shane tilted his head subconsciously.

R: ok??

Me: Usually people tilt their head like that when they are worried or are being sincere.

R: Meaning?

S: It means I give a shit about your mental health.

R: sure...

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Me: Why does this feel like the haunted house version of the ‘follow me’ pictures. Am i the only one getting those vibes.

S: Show me.

Me: Hmm?

S: Common, at this point I know you made a visual aid.

Me: *sigh* fine, you caught me

S: Its’s beautiful, Im gonna hang it on my wall forever.

****************************************************************************************************

(+10 for adorable boyfriend duo Buzz-cut Un-bald)

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Me: Boi... Hes wearing Heterosexual beige™

R: And we arent matching, so you can say its gay.

Me: Ugh... fine. For once its not gay... lies. its still gay somehow.

R: How?

Me: IDK, but it just is.

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(+2 for the boys looking good)

(+1 for the reappearance of Shane “Hearteyes” Madej)

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(+200 for Pure Smiley Boys)

(+1 for Ryan “my boyfriend’s smile is so cute” Bergara)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Just a side note, it makes me so happy to see these two so comfortable together. Like Ryan keeps on looking over to/at Shane as if he is the only thing keeping his heartbeat on tempo, and I love it. And Shane has been cracking more jokes specifically for Ryan, because he knows if he doesn't Ryan might get too scared to move and might actually have a mental breakdown. Which, even with his joking, its clear he doesn't want to happen. It also seems like Ryan's laugh has this calming effect on him, makes him feel more comfortable. Even if its all platonic, I really like seeing how close they have become.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: oh shit, look at Sassmaster Rye over here, fucking your shit up.

(+1 for those honey ass boys cockroaches)

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(+5 for the return of Ryan “my boyfriend is an idiot and that’s kinda why I love him” Bergara)

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Me: Okay... that’s fucking weird.

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Me: Oh Bouy, I would have been thrown in so fast. I got ADHD, and it was super bad when i was young.

S: Explains your random commentary schedule.

Me: Oh shove it Madej.

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Me: Poor C.C.

(hey um, people editing the video... can you not zoom in on the text whislt its scrolling.)

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Me: WHO LET THIS GUY THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL?? ARE THEY OKAY?? IS THERE FAMILY OKAY??

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Me: That seems a bit off...

S: Well that is the point we’re making.

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Me: It just sound like your clothes rubbing together to me, but what can I say, wasn’t there.

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Me: It looks like a Labyrinth tbh.

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(+1 for my good boys trying to spread their good gay vibes)

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(+1 for Shane joking to calm down Ryan)

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Me: Damn Sally sure is busy.

S: Hm???

Me: The wall right behind you has “Sally” spray painted on it.

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Me: Okay, its one thing if it was a normal sized doll. But a tiny one makes it like 10x creepier.

S: I dont get it, a doll, is a doll, is a doll.

Me: Its a small little doll, in a huge haunted space. It has absolutly no reason to be there, perfectly proped up on the pillows. I dont know why, but it makes me uncomfortable.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Its evil i say, EVIL.

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(+1 for goofy mystery boyfriends)

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(+2 for this whole conversation)

(-1 for the new zoom in thing)

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Me: Hey look, its Shane.

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Me : Im spooked.

S:Why?

Me: That fucking song gives me nightmares.

R: It is a creepy song ill grant you. But nightmares?

Me: You dont understand. When i heard this song it was a creepy robot singing it, it was all frame work. Im getting antsy just thinking about the thing.

R: Ah, now i get it.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Admiring the art Mr. Madej

S: Why yes Ms. Todd, this particular piece right here is fascinating.

Me: Are you hoping life imitates art Mr. Madej.

S: Always Ms. Todd.

Me,R&S: *Bursts out laughing*

R: You guys are so weird, I swear.

Me: Your one to talk Rye Bread.  The Rap videos.

R: *cringing* Touché

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Tbh, thats kinda pretty. Can i get on of those for like Photography?

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S: You know, if we werent in some creepy asylum, its call this kinda romantic.

R: But we are, so shut up.

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(+1 for Shane joking to calm his boyfriend down)

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Me: Cute, let the kiddo play my dudes.

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R: “His dirty man hands.”

Me: You know sometimes you make my job to easy.

(+1 for Ryan “Im smiling because my boyfriend’s a doof” Begara)

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Me & Ryan: *Laughing our asses off*

Me: Hes a fucking five year old.

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Howie: You know what its okay. Most people just tough my plane, but you look like your having fun. Ill let it go this once.

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Me: His name is fisher... and Howie likes to play with a Fisher price airplane?

R: idk man, maybe Howie and Fisher are friends or somthing.

Me: Or somthing.

****************************************************************************************************

(+10 for Shane “I know my boyfriend really fucking well” Madej)

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R: *SHOOK*

Me: Ah, there’s our boy.

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Me: Ok... this is adorabe Ryan never cracks jokes in these situations.

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Me: You looks so proud Shay.

S: I am.

(+3 for smiley boyfriends)

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(+ 20 for smiley boyfriends)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You okay Shane?

S: Why would I not be?

Me: You do know that heroin used to be considered medicine right.

S: Im aware.

Me: Isnt your greatst fear being stabbed with a heroin needle?

S: Oh... Shit. *non- visibly shook*

(+1 for the way to long needle in the picture.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Your only JUST getting the dowsing rods. Eh gads, I thought y’all already had them and didnt use them. they arent you res or no answers. they are for finding lay lines. At least that’s what i’ve heard.

R: Whats your source on that one?

Me: a BBC special that had Colin Morgan and Bradly James trying to find out as much as they could about The real Merlin and Arthur.

R: Oh, cool.

****************************************************************************************************

(+10 for Shane playfully teasing his boyfriend)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Im worried Rye. Are you okay?

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Me: OH MY FUCKING GOD. You would think i wouldnt find it annoying after not hearing it for a week but... GODDAMN.

(+1 for Rye’s derp face)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Why was this part not shown earlier?

S: He was talking about how he wanted to suck me off so we couldnt put it in.

R: *socks shane in the arm* Shut up both of you.

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Me: Two bros, standing in a recording booth, no feet apart cuz they're both gay.

R:Ugh

Me: Dude it literally looks like Shanes arm is around your waist.

R: ... fine.

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Me: tbh they sound the same to me.

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Me: He squat.

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Me: Why are you like this Shane?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Dont.

Me: OMG Ryan.

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for smiley Ryan)

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Me: Hoe don’t do it.

R: “Individually.”

Me: Oh my god.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Aww look at my adorable little boyo.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: And the beanpole enters hell.

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S: “Ryan’s Gonna hate this.”

(+20 for Shane “I know my boyfriend really fucking well” Madej)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Are you shook... for him? Is all of Shanes shook energy pushed into you?

R: *shook* Seemingly

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ryan, you have used this multiple times. We get it.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Correction, person who spray painted that, you are trespassing. They are legally allowed to be here... as far as we know.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I don’t think ghosts can paint.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Are you guys sure there isn't more room in that studio? Also the word your looking for is Rorschach. A Rorschach test.

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for Shane teasing his boyfriend)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Side note, it seems like, to Ryan, every word that Shane says is loaded with this electricity. He loves it, craves it and, gets a buzz off of it. Its like it ignites this feeling of pure joy inside of him. That’s what it seems like to me.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Is that a... complement?

S: Thank You Ryan

****************************************************************************************************

(+10 for Harry Potter Reference)

****************************************************************************************************

S: Don’t you just want me to shut the hell up.

Me: I like how Shane is just using the same logic that he uses with Ryan.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Oy boy...

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Shane stop being an encouraging jackass.

(+1 for how cool Ryan’s eyes look)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at that smug ass smile. Yet he still looks so-

Me& R: Handsome.

Me: Rye?

R: You didnt hear that.

Me: Hear what?

****************************************************************************************************

S: “He is going to hate this.”

(+10 for Shane “I know my boyfriend really fucking well” Madej)

(+10 for the fact Shane was listening to Ryan from the other room)

****************************************************************************************************

R: “I fucking hate this”

Howie: “Why?”

Me: Now Rye, be fore you freak out. That’s one of the sweetest questions a ghost could ask you. All other ghosts you have meet have been dicks, keep that in mind. 

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You fucking fuck.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Wow, sassy ghost, I dig it.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Father Thomas is quaking.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I feel like this is the ghost of a teenager, it just feels right. Like a 16/17 year old male. Sassy yet compliant.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Okay, Im calling it. A 16/17 year old boy named Jeff who looks after Howie. I have a feeling he is only interacting with you on Howie’s request. 

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Okay so I did some minor digging and...

Me: I was wrong about the age. But, he was younger than the other spirits. I still believe him to be Howie’s protector, or else the other voice we are hearing is his wife.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I didnt find a mention of Howie anywhere in the records. But, there is a mention of a child being nursed at the hospital. Because he’s not a patient his name isn't listed. It might be a long shot, but this might be Howie.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Please Jeff, play it cool, he doesn't want to harm you.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Im really proud of you Ryan, actually holding a conversation and not screaming every time.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Jeff, thank you.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Why are you timing him, he was having a solid conversation and you pull him away from it. Why are you like this?

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Me: Give me a sec.

Me: Well shit... its Howie’s mom.

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Me: Well you are in a hospital.

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Me: Sounded a little like a metal pipe, but lets just say It was Bri. That means Jeff is there too, he followed you Rye.

R: Okay... I can handle this.

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Me: You do realize you are still in the building right?

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Me: Ryan Bergara Little Ghost Antenna™.

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Me: awe, they are still working on a catchphrase.

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Me: ARE YOU OKAY RYAN? ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?

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Me: Tbh, still love this because HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

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This long ass post brought to you by:

This (Ryan is 22 in this and I love it.)

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

[rana-capito]

blue, navy blue, i'm as blue as i can be, cause my steady boy said "all of them", one hundred something questiiiions

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?I’d take a couple more inches but like this is fine2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)It would be so cool to have a snake…but a dog is also really good…3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?cool jackets are cool…for myself I like target man tshirts4: What was your favorite video game growing up?I had these Magic School Bus computer games that were truly excellent. there was one about whales and dolphins and one about rainforest animals5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:idk…the Majority of my thoughts are either very self-centered or just the song that it’s time to have in my head6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?fuck idk. warning: occasional stupid bitch 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?hmm! vague8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]I got sanguine on a quiz I took once and I like that because I like blood9: Are you ticklish?yeah, not Extremely tho10: Are you allergic to anything?guinea pigs, cats, pollen11: What’s your sexuality?i’m Gay12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Tea13: Are you a cat or dog person?they are both good and i really like both…i’ll say dogs because i’ve been seeing a lot of very good ones lately + the cat allergy14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?VAMPIRE15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?I watch beckiejbrown a lot and I think she’s cool16: How tall are you?5'7"17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Benjamin..perhaps…but there’s too many bens so I guess I’ll just have to be Larl18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]between 144 and 150 pounds19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?eh…nah20: Do you like space or the ocean more?The ocean..has more animals in it21: Are you religious?non22: Pet peeves?when people call frogs venomous or spiders poisonous23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal…i like Sunshine24: Favorite constellation?i like cassiopeia she’s spiky25: Favorite star?uhhhh I don’t have one26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?i think they are..flexible?27: Any phobias or fears?MIRRORS IN THE DARK MIRRORS IN THE DARK scary. 28: Do you think global warming is real?yeah lol29: Do you believe in reincarnation?not really30: Favorite movie?hmmm. i liked inglorious basterds a lot but i’m mostly saying that because i can’t think of any movies that have made an especially big impression on me at the moment31: Do you get scared easily?..yes i’m sensitive32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?1 frog 2 tortoises 4 guinea pigs & a lot of fish33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]8/10 content is great but posting frequency is too spread out34: What is a color that calms you?green like my room at home35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?I want to go to like..australia. or some other place with cool and weird animals!36: Where were you born?atlanta :P37: What is your eye color?brown38: Introvert or extrovert?IntroVert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?not really but i like to read things about them anyway40: Hugs or kisses?WHY not both41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?clarissa…so far away…an entire TIMEZONE42: Who is someone you love deeply?Antonie Hvan Leeuwenhoek43: Any piercings you want?maybe something extra on my ear?44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?they’re cool45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?i neiver have done so46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!sexy. very shapely calves. extremely good at calculus and physics and programming. 47: What is a sound you really hate?when my shoe scrapes on the sidewalk48: A sound you really love?the echoes from the main staircase in the mlc49: Can you do a backflip?no :(50: Can you do the splits?no51: Favorite actor and/or actress?i like..karla souza52: Favorite movie?this has been asked previously and i still don’t have a good answer. 53: How are you feeling right now?cool! kind of tired54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?uhh this color’s good55: When did you feel happiest?jeez idk that’s pretty hard to answer56: Something that calms you down?my green chair in my room at home57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]i do not58: What does your URL mean?it’s vaguely homestucky59: What three words describe you the most?cool. sexy. innovative.60: Do you believe in evolution?hell yeah61: What makes you unfollow a blog?content that i don’t like or no content for a long time62: What makes you follow a blog?content that i like63: Favorite kind of person:cool person64: Favorite animal(s):guinea pigs. orcas. cane toads. naked mole rats.65: Name three of your favorite blogs.teensplop.blogspot.com is my ultimate favorite blog ever. my favorite tumblrs are of like random people who i follow and i would feel weird @ing them66: Favorite emoticon:girl with carrots67: Favorite meme:bode was pretty good68: What is your MBTI personality type?i think i got infp when i took it69: What is your star sign?capricorn70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?i don’t have a dog :(71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?dark gray vneck from target and my Excellent jeans72: Post a selfie or two?i’ll do that..later73: Do you have platform shoes?no i’m tall74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?my blood type is A positive75: Can you do a front flip?into a pool or on a trampoline76: Do you like birds?hell yeah! i wanted to be an ornithologist in 6th grade and if that ended up being my life i would be satisfied and happy77: Do you like to swim?Yeah Put Me In The Water78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?hmm. i guess swimming? ice skating is very fun though. and it has to be the correct context of swimming like the water is clean and i can swoop around in it79: Something you wish didn’t exist:*****es80: Some thing you wish did exist:my huge future muscles81: Piercings you have?one in each earlobe82: Something you really enjoy doing:dancing in a loud bar83: Favorite person to talk to:different people have different good talking qualities but there is a special kind of conversation i can only hold with my sister84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?this sure is The Place For Fanart85: How many followers do you have?15086: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?hmm…i feel like yes but i would be very tired after87: Do your socks always match?almost always yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?i used to be able to but no longer89: What are your birthstones?i think turquoise?90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?something sneaky and timid and nocturnal91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?it has 5 smooth white petals and a smooth green stem and i was so into it for like some time in second grade92: A store you hate?urban outfitters93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?ideally zero94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?fly95: Do you like to wear camo?not particularly96: Winter or summer?summer for sure..i like Sunlight97: How long can you hold your breath for?i don’t feel like testing this rn98: Least favorite person?let’s say johnny rives99: Someone you look up to:my veterinarian cousin is cool100: A store you love?binders is pretty cool101: Favorite type of shoespumas 102: Where do you live?in a College Town103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?no i love MEAT104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?star sapphires are pretty cool?105: Do you drink milk?on occasion106: Do you like bugs?yeah :)107: Do you like spiders?yeah :)108: Something you get paranoid about?people thinking i shouldn’t be in a place109: Can you draw:yeah i think so110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?nothing comes to mind111: A question you hate being asked?what kind of music do you like?112: Ever been bitten by a spider?maybe…i had this huge itchy leg bump the past few days that i think might have been from that113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?yah it’s nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?mmm sunny115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:Antonie Hvan Leeuwenhoek116: Favorite cloud type:Ummm ones that are interestingly shaped! not just stratus. everything else is cool117: What color do you wish the sky was?blue is good118: Do you have freckles?yah119: Favorite thing about a person:do people like actually have an answer to this in mind120: Fruits or vegetables?VEGETABLES121: Something you want to do right now:eat dessert122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?mmm sky!123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet…124: Bright or dim lights?uhh depends on the mood125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?…no?126: Something you hate about Tumblr:some of the discussions on here happen in really weird and negative ways but i’m pretty much never involved so whatever127: Something you love about Tumblr:lots of nice content128: What do you think about the least?i don’t fucking know since i’m not thinking about it129: What would you want written on your tombstone?something about science contributions maybe130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?i’m not in a really violent mood rn131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?nothing comes to mind132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?yeah133: Computer or TV?computer IS tv134: Do you like roller coasters?yeah :D135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?sometimes…not recently136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed137: Do you believe in karma?eh138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?this really varies but like in the middle somewhere. not a 1 and not a 10 for sure139: What nicknames do you have/have had?sarah calls me em…that’s it140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?hmm sarah and i had an imaginary little sister named lucille and an imaginary dog named ruby141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?non142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?i try to be a good influence?143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?i like…giving ;)144: What makes you angryjohnny rives145: How many languages do you speak fluently?One146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?i’m a lesbian147: Are you androgynous?hmm i think i’ve reached that somewhat148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:i like..my feet149: Favorite thing about your personality:i try to…be nice150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.julia clarissa sarah151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?i’m good staying here thank u152: Do you like BuzzFeed?it can be entertaining but i don’t think it’s good153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]introduced by a mutual friend is the most basic explanation154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?yeah!155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yah156: What embarrasses you?being in the gym157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:the gym158: Biggest lie you have ever told:i can’t say it here…it’s illegal159: How many people are you following?130160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?4,507161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?2162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?27,596 wow163: Last time you cried and why:thursday night and i have no Fucking clue164: Do you have long or short hair?short165: Longest your hair has ever been:i think it got past my boobs in the first semester of 9th grade166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?i don’t really have any religious affiliations at all so. neutral167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?..yes? like i think it’s cool and stuff168: Do you like to wear makeup?Not like, regularly, but I like doing my 3am editorial looks169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?No170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?mostly. i didn’t think Too Deeply

@shovelthefries

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x23 watching notes

Sucks to be you lot, I got nearly a week less hiatus than you to think about this

(Oh god, hi it's Monday evening after the episode and I've finally made it through a day without a bizarre dizzy spell and limbs made of solid lead. Time to watch this >.>)

expectations: Mittens told me she loved it and she's my barometer so I'm tentatively hoping that it works :P

Also whatever happens, 13x04 or thereabouts is going to be a fucking Scooby Doo episode so there's no way literally anything happens here that won't be better in 4 episodes.

-

I feel like I don't any anything snarky OR clever to say about the opening montage, which is ominous. About my brain, I mean. Season 12 has been a wild ride.

It's also possible I entirely transcended after the hug in 12x22 and don't actually need anything from the show any more, like, Sam and Mary are happy, Dean's all better and so things will clearly eventually work out with Cas, like... I don't even need to see that to know it happens :P

(I mean I'd have HATED the show to end here because AAAH CAS but just assuming he's fine, this is how it goes now Dean's ticked "parent issues" off his emotional burden and is basically just left with "i'm gay for the angel help" on there :P)

-

CAS! Hello! He's enjoying the view of the lake.

Kelly gives us a fake-out "prayer" where it turns out she's blaspheming.

I would have no idea if this is important or not for later because even with 12x19's great work we really don't have a strong measure on Kelly as a character as we should have, except that she was originally devout or going along with being devout. She now thinks her baby is a God and if she's taking the original God aka Chuck's name in vain, then yeah. (Also important for Cas, I suppose considering his much more complicated personal relationship with Chuck aka God)

I like it because it makes her position in this all the more interesting because she seems to be asking for help but it turns out she is asking for the strength not to kill "Sven" and if she was really thinking she'd burn down an IKEA, that's using the nephilim's power for harm, because she's 110% capable of grabbing Cas, dragging him back to IKEA, and making him set the whole thing alight for her.

Since it's the opening line of the episode, the whole "not what it seems" element, especially showing her as vulnerable and devout, immediately re-casts her as angry and violent and blasphemous... Obviously it turns out to be on a hilarious level but like with many many things I talk about, the initial suggestion was an honest plea for help. And though it's subverted, what does it say about the actual relationship with God, and how she feels... I mean she was asking for help so that means she feels she doesn't need any help from GOD, just help from this Sven

Also the fact this means they went IKEA shopping is pretty hilarious to me all by itself because Cas and regular human activities. I would assume Cas is indulging her whims for the baby whether he thinks it will kill her to give birth or not, if he's mostly in control of his thought processes and is in general behaving like Cas except for the override switch being thrown on priorities.

Remember back in 12x17 where I was talking about how Kelly would be so much more interesting if Dagon had let her decorate a room in their abandoned hovel of the week? I would still have loved to have seen that version but once again Dabb and I are on a wavelength because there's no way this wasn't already in the pipeline when I was saying all that, so I imagine he got quite a kick out of reading it on my blog, knowing what was to come. I was even thinking she'd paint it yellow. Anywho, as I was saying there, the uncanny valley of making a beautiful baby room in such a location is beautifully jarring and creepy and everything about her trying to treat this as normal and to make the world ready for him in this very specific mundane way, when there is no way in a billion years she could make the world ready for him considering what he means to this world.

-

Oh no I hit play and Cas said he was good at following orders. I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what he is, but he THINKS he is, or at least thinks that he was MADE to follow orders. Question that this episode may or may not answer: if a being is designed to be the perfect order-following drone, and then attempts IKEA furniture, will it succeed? More importantly, even if it's actually terrible at following orders when it's making emotional calls, will the simple morality-free consequences of building an IKEA thing make it easier and give it one easy thing to do in its life when it's never had it easy before to follow orders without making concerned calls of its own based on its better judgement, or will it somehow fuck up the furniture anyway because it thought there was a better way to do something?

Is this possibly a metaphor

-

Kelly is angry because she knows she's going to die and wants to teach the baby to ride a bike and get married... Look, you really have a skewed idea of what he's going to be ALLOWED to do. Even if he grows up at a normal speed, if he's left with his powers, I doubt he will ever have a free afternoon to learn to ride a bike in peaceful safety.

-

"I will give my life for your son. And I will raise him - " *pauses immediately to scowl at the blatant awful contradiction*

-

"- and I will make him someone you will be proud of"

the other thing is I just can't imagine Cas teaching anyone to ride a bike and I am not sure he has entirely thought this through, because I DO have absolute faith in Cas that if he was allowed and everything went in this saccarine way he would do his absolute best for the kid and raise him perfectly but dear god that means Cas will feel a burden like he has never felt before to learn how the hell to ride a bike and impart that knowledge to a kid on training wheels, and at this point we get so deep into an incongruous mental image I am pretty sure I'm imagining a total AU Cas

on the other hand several watching notes ago I visualised Cas's perfectly normal house in suburbia where he's hidden stuff like the demon tablet, first blade, and whatever the hell it was in season 12 that made me conjure this image up in the first place, and now I think Cas would obviously move the kid there to grow up, and the fact that he hasn't yet is probably mostly because he's a little nervous about what would happen if a nephilim touched the demon tablet.

see there's a secret continuity to these notes

The other thing that makes me convinced the baby will not be allowed to live a normal life is not because its powers are too great to be left alone but because if it's with Cas, he's such a fucking beacon of madness and drama from the rest of the world that he'd have that baby in a baby pouch on his chest, running around smiting stuff, all year long :P Again, getting to the point of a ridiculously incongruent mental image.

This world is engineered towards freedom, not peace, and Cas was the one who by being bad at following orders, made sure it was so. Now he more than anyone pays the price for that

-

Omg talk about multi-layered. Dean telling Mary about how Crowley is so hard to kill he's like a cockroach, and he'll believe it himself when he sees the body, and burns it. Obviously you got salt n burn of a bad guy, and hunter's funeral of someone he cares about. Which would he give Crowley? All surface stuff Dean wants to indicate at this point is that Crowley's an idiot who somehow got tangled up in Lucifer again and made him their problem, AGAIN, and basically he has no reason to admit his fondness for the King of Hell to his mom who barely gets the situation, and Sam who mocks him about the summer of love at any given opportunity but still probably doesn't *get* what that was for Dean, and really doesn't like Crowley all that much, still, after all this time.

-

It belatedly occurs to me that Sam forcing out a thanks he mostly means but hates saying to Crowley in 12x15 was a lot like Dean trying to thank Ruby in 4x09 and knowing he actually is sort of grateful but you know... not pleased about her one bit :P

-

*interlude that allows me to hit the 5 minute mark as we recap Crowley not being dead* He mimics Dean in 4x01 crawling out of his grave, with rather less bizarre sex appeal.

(... I have no idea but Jensen Ackles can make literally anything sexy.)

Also the music is clearly making a mockery of him doing that, like, it's just too overdramatic, while with 4x01 of course the whole thing was treated with the respect and importance it deserved. If Dean had resurrected with the exact same motions it would have been a comedy

-

I dislike the five minute mark intensely.

-

I'm just going to assume she'll resurrect herself quietly without a fuss once Lucifer's gone, and go hide out until this is all over, maybe do that spell to punt herself back to the 1400s like she wanted to in 11x22

Hope she has fun on a second time over.

And avoids literally all of this crap

-

There's a diamond-ish pattern on the wall in the room - fancier than normal diamonds because Lucifer isn't just a regular demon >.>

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Oh dear he's waving around Rowena's voodoo doll now. The big black heart patch is even more relevant.

-

You know I think Sam is genuinely mourning Rowena, all his expected Lucifer panic aside

-

This place Cas and Kelly are holed up in really really looks like places I saw in Scotland when I was visiting. I may be mourning Rowena.

-

As I was saying to Mittens I think 12x13 is supposed to be the episode that tied up all their ends and should have been her true farewell episode wrapping up all the MacLeod family drama which truly started in 9x21 shortly before Rowena was introduced in season 10... Buuut they made such a hodge podge of the story I can't even remember without checking what else was in it except for 3 brief interludes about Kelly, which was nowhere near enough to rob all the time from Gavin and Rowena getting a good story, so... I'm confuzzled.

-

Meanwhile, Cas is being Cas about childrearing. He says everyone poops but HE doesn't poop - the baby may poop if it's more human in physiology, but that's not actually a 50 50 chance if it turns out to be more angel than not, and it's certainly so powerful what's left for the human side of it... i guess except for pooping, until it's old enough to have actual working empathy and reason to discover if it's got free will and compassion

-

It did something to the truck through Kelly but to my great disappointment there's no Dabb vs cars pay off and it makes the truck magic. It just briefly holds the power until they're not looking, then it dribbles out and floats off to cause trouble elsewhere

-

"Lucifer's right," Dean says, and probably sacrifices like 3 sanity points to say it (we're doing Call of Cthulu this rewatch instead of D&D I guess?)

It's a fair point that they're really playing on the wrong board here; they can deal with a human problem like the BMoL. A little blood and tears, but they conquered it and the 3 of them solved their family drama and everything's right again. (I assume someone gave Mary the "It's okay you were brainwashed when you killed all those people, it totally doesn't count" speech)... But yeah they don't know how to find Lucifer, their plan is a vague "find Cas" and Dean seems to be relying on making Cas do what they want (he's good at following orders >.>) rather than wrangling the larger problem. Sam says they can hopefully siphon off the baby's grace but if not... they find something else, again, vague and again, no resources to do it - to be clear, they have at the moment, no way to find Cas, no way to kill Lucifer, and no way to deal with the baby if their desperate way doesn't work, and dealing with Cas is a pretty desperate option too, to make him do something when again Dean said "Team Free Will" to him last time they had a real talk, and, yeah.

-

"I always wanted to punch the devil in the face" I love Mary Winchester

-

I didn't pause in time to tell Cas not to touch the creepy line of power that came from his truck. I assume he's been transported to an alternate dimension that is loosely connected to his truck. Spiritually, perhaps.

-

Buffy style demons?

-

I did not expect to be at this moment as soon as we are. Seemed like a last 3rd of the episode thing, after shit had gone down,  but Cas has been thrown into angry truck verse too soon.

-

I also thought it would be pretty random but I didn't expect HOW random and you know how I said a while back Dabb era is totally random and it's so hard to guess anything that happens because he will just be like "Lol whatever if it gets where we want to go" - this is why I hate speculating this season :P Certain things happen *exactly* on cue and others are like, Cas probably ought not to be around for this part, let's just... put him over here

-

Kelly to Jack - "you have an angel watching over you!" yeah like that's not already the most corrupt phrase on the show since Mary said it to her own pregnant tummy in 5x13 right when Michael had just happened to Dean (and prompted the saying of "team free will" in the first place. I've been ironically using it as my Mary & her sons (and step son) dynamic tag all season because of that - to refer to the cosmic fuckedupness of their backstory with angels, Mary's attitude towards her boys, their feelings towards her (re: 2x13 and how DEAN felt about Mary encapsulated in that comment and how Sam was left out because he didn't know anything about Mary) and of course the fact they obtained an actual angel to watch over them who is awesome at watching over them and caring about them like Mary always wanted, and Dean was so upset she said but she DIED and he had no faith and angels weren't even real and -

okay when I said the Winchesters were done with their story, the "and Cas" dynamic completely changes the emotional stuff they need to address and I was being pretty flippant about Dean swapping that to making out with Cas, but essentially, yeah. Kelly is showing that this exact thing is still a narratively relevant thing after Dean got some core, childhood trauma level catharsis out of Mary finally, dealing with the absolute baseline of their relationship.

This is still to go, I guess, because Kelly saying this shows there's still some fucked up stuff the Winchesters have to deal with, and faith and angels and is a shared nightmare of a family therapy session for this squad.

-

Ahahaha Dean's reactions are great. Just punch Crowley in the face and have a knife out in moments.

And yeah Crowley deserves that. As I said somewhere ELSE in my notes over the season, Dean had one lie left to discover, after everyone else lied to him in the second half of the season and he discovered it.

(everyone except Rowena *sobs*)

-

Sam remains beautifully in character re: killing Crowley. Dean definitely seems like he will but then in 12x19 he packed an angel blade to go yell at Cas. Not sure what level of mad and betrayed those two things compare like but Crowley's already on a barely tolerated frenemies list when Dean isn't compromised by the whole summer of love thing and it's pretty easy to forget that when Crowley let out Lucifer.... So yeah he's got a lot more to be worried about than Cas :P

-

Crowley admits he kept Lucifer out of the cage because he wanted to win - belatedly giving us the exact same motivations as Cas doing all the betraying and getting dragged off by the nephilim

-

We very belatedly get to the part of Crowley's arc where he voices he really really hates running hell. I mean, Dabb wrote 6x04 where Crowley was immediately displeased with doing the job because he couldn't trust anyone else to do it (the sort of people who want to run hell are... pretty volatile. And the ecosystem only supports one Crowley type personality doing well there :P) He says being in the rat made him realise he hated it, but it's been clear since season 10 that this is where it was all going for Crowley, another plot thing that got dragged out (and is filed under my lesser complaint that they didn't know what to do with him at the end of the season just like Cas because they both ended up having such a weird non-role in the end of the season...)

Anyway I suppose we're getting back to that, while Cas has been on a much more well developed emotional journey since the start of season 11 so it's less like he's just been on ice :P

-

And Crowley bargains with closing the gates of hell, because I guess all our talk about how season 8 was all over the place with the killing hellhounds thing and nephilim and all that... It was enough to actually prompt someone to ask me if Crowley could I think, so kudos that anon if I'm not imagining it. I remember saying somewhere or other that Crowley could shut the gates of hell in an afternoon if he was fully in control of Hell because he'd have all the resources available to him. Including someone to do the trials for him so he doesn't have to die for it :P I doubt he'll get a chance to actually do this, but it's nice to have a reminder, if only to bring to the surface that this has been the theme all year.

I feel like the weird spiky realm that looks freakishly expensive to film will probably be the realm we have to worry about though :P

-

*Kelly wanders around looking for Cas, also concerned about him*

-

He's back! And he immediately lies about what happened to him, probably not to worry her, but... Yeah, something happened. Whoever he met there, he's back and not commenting, so he's either alive and fine despite everything, or being impersonated.

I guess it just wants to open a portal to a dimension of weird spiky demons because why not. Kelly's labour pains are stressing the portal Cas went through, so assume birth is going to tear it open and birth a whole bunch of spiky demons on this realm to go along with the nephilim.

If anything goes remotely predictably.

-

Is Crowley about to lampshade how boring 12x08 was?

"Is this what you do when I'm not here? Type?"

You know, I don't think Dabb likes sitting through Buckleming episodes any more than we do.

-

Uhoh, weirdness in the Pacific Northwest.

Look I spent the entire time I was facedown in a load of cushions between these episodes airing and now watching most of Twin Peaks in one go.

I also caught MORE than enough references back to it from other episodes in Supernatural to be confident that Robbie, Dabb and Edlund have been going around quoting it all the time in their episodes since the start, so there's that. :P

-

Oh no Cas is using "James Novak" to rent the house. I suppose everyone who cares about Jimmy is at peace now but it still makes me weird to think about how that's still legally who he is as long as he keeps hold of stuff like Jimmy's driving licence and for all we know life savings

-

"It's about time," Crowley says, still lampshading how boring 12x08 was.

-

Cas is being really sweet. He took a class online to help him help Kelly give birth. He's like... the nicest guy ever

I don't think he's quite twigged that humans have no idea how to do half this stuff either from a standing start... unwittingly walking the path of the expecting father without knowing everyone freaks out this much without the whole "helping give birth to a nephilim in the shack in the woods with no medical professionals around" side

-

Yeah the glowy thing is still there Cas... Still not telling her about it, I see. She's as they think going to be dead in 12-18 hours anyway so no point worrying her about the fact the birth of her son is opening a portal to this-world's-hell-isn't-actually-scary-anymore

-

"Thank you, for everything." "of course"

*generic exchange from the Destiel playbook*

-

He tells her a bedtime story of his vision of the Future, reminding us with the visual of the nephilim's power creeping up his arm and taking over his eyes - and she grabs his hand again. A world without pain or hunger or want. Sounds... a bit unrealistic as he gets to a world without fear or suffering or hate - he saw paradise, which is confirming he's doing the same thing as Mary with the "world without monsters" mantra that nearly was her total undoing. He's got a world without suffering, just the same deal, on a bigger scale. I love love love how he's the centre of everything - Mary sharing one side, Crowley using the same story about wanting a win in his own selfish way, and Cas in the centre with the much more deep, complex story going on utilising all of this.

-

Nyooom

-

Cas knows that motor anywhere

-

Oh dear he has his angel blade out to meet them

-

"Dean." (Mary and Sam also walk into the hall)

-

Sam does eventually take the lead on telling Cas they seriously need to worry about Lucifer right now - a shared thing between them, I guess. Dean and Cas are hostile but Sam moves around to stand behind Cas. Dean says they'll work through their crap later because they always do. Accepting that fights are transient parts of being a couple (uh, family) and obviously they might be mad at each other now but that doesn't mean an end to it.

-

*Cas angrily heals Dean's knee and I'm sad he didn't grab his knee but amused at how pissed off Cas was because he was never not going to heal Dean when he saw he was hurt but he doesn't have to be happy about it*

Sam takes the time to wander further into the house and Cas has to chase after him to defend the odd garden feature from him

-

Too late.

-

Oh dear it's a tear in space and time. is it showing the future that will happen if the nephilim is born and that's what Cas has been seeing despite describing paradise to Kelly?

-

Aww it's just an alternate dimension.

uh

Sam and Dean relate to this because they remember The French  Mistake. Oh dear. :P I never thought that would get mentioned again.

-

"How did this get here?" Asking the real questions, Sam. You know, after the deviation to reminisce fondly about 6x15 while staring at a hole in the fabric of reality.

Cas tells them they don't want to know what's on the other side, but Dean says they need to. You can't just hide things from someone because you don't want to worry them, especially when it's staring them in the face with a great big glowy rip in reality.

-

Oh, it's daytime now. Guess it runs backwards to their world with timezones.

Cas has to defend that he thinks it's perfectly okay to hang out here because the nephilim opened the portal and will close it again and he has faith. Dean is like !?!?!? okay no??

Calls him a dumbass again

-

hey it's the guy from the 2 in 1 promo. C'mon, turn out to be Garth with padding.

-

Fuckin knew it

-

Go a year without seeing that face on our screens? Never.

-

Also let me just rewind and yell about Cas calling him a friend and Dean being grumpy about Cas having friends but listen, Cas and Bobby is the best and truest friendship on the show shut your mouth Dean.

-

you know technically Bobby is "garth with padding" in the sense that Garth metaphorically took over his role after his death, while being a lanky guy.

I'm calling that a win.

-

Correction: beret!bobby. He's awesome.

-

Making up for being killed off-screen in the opening of Endverse

-

I love how Sam and Dean keep on trying to make Bobby know who they are even after Cas keeps on trying to explain that he has no idea who they are

-

You know Cas seeing a world that Sam and Dean never saved while he's currently helping the nephilim be born in a way that is utterly terrifying for the fabric of their reality should probably make him a lot more nervous, but he's fine because he has faith

for Sam and Dean, it's a different thing to see altogether, because sure they get they saved the world and they didn't NEED to see how awful it would be without them to know they did a good thing. But Dean literally just made peace with Mary over this and Sam seemed to as well although honestly he's been going along with it all so much as it happens maybe he needs a great big set piece to see all this and muse on how their lives changed the world because it gives him a very external way to see and process that Mary's deal may have sucked for them personally, and kinda damned him for a little while etc etc Dean gave her the sob story on Sam's behalf last episode, but if he was ever going to have a similar way to be at peace with Mary compared to Dean getting the personal one, it's revisiting the early seasons Kripke Era mytharc and asking what would have happened if it hadn't happened.

Ironically in 4x03 Cas sets Dean on his little quest to silently observe everything with "you have to stop it" but if anything his actions set things in motion and averted this world... Quite a self-fulfilling prophecy that Heaven and Hell were so obsessed with the bloodlines and the prophecy and the blah blah blah that they managed to avert the apocalypse by trying to make it happen.

-

Blah blah nothing we didn't already know with Mary and Kelly although nice they're talking female character to female character >.>

Getting a bit worried they were like omg Lucifer's coming and then Sam and Dean and Cas all go have a vacation elsewhere and leave Mary alone to defend Kelly. I suppose we know Cas comes back because there was the promo scene with him kissing Kelly on the forehead presumably as she's dying but I didn't analyse the video very much at ALL so I can't really remember what else we haven't seen as we've now seen all the bits I think anyone was yelling about and forcing our attention to

-

Bobby called his gun Rufus :')

It's angel killing bullets. :O Dean is like "awesome" and Cas side-eyes him with the best side-eyes Cas has had in years like, I was SHOT with one of those, you dick.

-

I don't think Mary's going to keep the hand :P

-

Oh they made it back.

-

"Are you alright?" Cas immediately asks Dean, personally, if he's alright and Dean's like "NO" and his voice creaks as he describes being trapped between Lucifer and Mad Max

-

"I don't even know where to start!" yep still on with that theme from earlier. They've been witnesses all year, really - just showing up in episodes as events unfold, and they really, really haven't had a handle on stuff. Even the BMoL situation played out in such a way that Mary killed Ketch and Jody killed Dr Hess and Ketch killed Mick and Toni, and Mary killed that awesome lady who attacked them at the start of the season - whether it's the brothers specifically not being allowed to kill too many humans too causally on screen or what, combined with being witnesses to round after round of the Lucifer thing, the only "win" they thought they got was banishing him, and Crowley fucked that up too so no wonder Dean hit him

-

Oh he's back

hi crowley

-

"Turns out I'm the answer to all your problems"

(did they seriously think he couldn't get out of being pinned to a table with a knife and no other restraints? I mean it HURTS but it doesn't actually incapacitate him from doing stuff like... pulling the knife out...)

Anyway didn't we have some speculation Crowley was maybe going to dramatically hero moment the day?

(Ah maybe something silly I was saying to Mittens in 12x08 when I was joking about what could possibly happen next with the vague teasing that something ridiculous was about to happen)

-

Kelly and Mary are now BFFs and Mary is unwittingly Kelly's hand holding friend through this. I suspect this is just to tie up some things about all the Dagon and Mary as parallel mothers that was going on at some point in 12x17 or 12x19 when she was villain monologuing

-

Is Cas going to tell her that her son is opening holes in reality? Or just whatever the plan is Crowley showed up with

-

Dean has the pre-drama chat with Sam about having faith in their family. Weirdly includes Crowley in that too despite almost killing him earlier, and adds a "sometimes" - he's got used to rely on Crowley to want to save his own bacon via using them and incidentally saving THEIR bacon enough times it almost looks like friendship :P

(Also... summer of love.)

-

You know it was totally sweet in context where Cas kissed her on the head. Definitely nothing to actually be concerned about in this episode - the whole opening was so funny and cute with guardian angel plays at being dad but the fact he was doing it AS a guardian angel was very very clear

-

Anyway Lucifer showed up

-

Sam makes a bizarre out of left field play telling Lucifer that Chuck wouldn't allow him to do whatever he wants to do, though 12x07 had Lucifer's big meltdown (literally) in front of them about how abandoned and miserable he felt. Not sure if this is part of the plan or Sam's buying for time hoping to get him ranting again.

(I mean. Lucifer is ranting again so.)

-

If there IS a random Chuck and Lucifer second attempt at reconciliation at this point I wouldn't put it past Dabb although not currently sure what part that plays. Chuck did choose these losers to defend the planet on his behalf after all

-

You know, Lucifer thinks this world sucks. A very obvious solution is just to let him chase them around the house, then someone kick him into that portal right before Jack closes it, if he is indeed going to do that

-

"Apocalypse take two. That's your plan." "When in doubt, go with the classics" You know, Lucifer, did you ever ask what happened to your brother Raphael?

Cas. Cas happened to him.

-

Anyway part of the great season 6 redux. How does it go this time? Well there's a lake literally right there and a portal full of nasties, and Bobby did some basic lore info on them so I have to assume it's not totally random what was through there, but at least SOME of it is going to be a problem for them next year

-

"See you on the other side" yeah that's... a thing that Dean said

-

LOL Dean and Sam turn and leg it around the house

*glances at Dabb* I worry about how much I think like him sometimes.

-

They lure Lucifer in out of curiosity. It's power, he's interested, and... I really hope Bobby kills him

-

"You wanted the apocalypse, you got it" this honestly seems like almost a kind way to retire Lucifer without killing him. Just shove him in a world even worse than endverse and let him have a crack at things where he's not the biggest fish in town and has some catching up to do

-

Dean gets to shoot Lucifer a billion times with an assault weapon because, well, he already shot the grenade launcher today, he needs something more fun to do now

-

Oh dear, now he's out of bullets

-

Lucifer really likes puching Dean in the face. He probably still feels he owes him some more face punches since 5x22

Dean is happy to volunteer his face up as a distraction, at least because Lucifer won't kill him instantly because he prefers punching Dean and making it slow...

-

Oh wow gee doing a spell that seals the rift needs someone to stick around and -

not just do it, a life apparently. Uh, Crowley... Are you gonna do this just to spite Lucifer?

-

Sam and Dean employ the tactic of running away again

-

Lucifer teases Crowley for wanting to make it personal by not locking him away in the cage and just ending it when it should have ended.

I think personal spite is going to play a biiit of a role here :P

-

*Crowley villain monologues like a champion*

-

Time go, Sam and Dean

-

"Bye, boys"

BYE CROWLEY

Maybe

for now anyway

-

The MacLeod Family Drama definitely ended this season anyway - I do think 12x13 ought to have been a showstopper of an episode with all their laundry aired and stuff to make it fair, and of course to have resolved the time travel nonsense better

but anyway, I think Rowena and Mary have a huge thematic overlap for what they do for Dean and Crowley - it did resolve Crowley's emotional arc in a way where rounds of villainy and winning/losing could be an eternal pattern with the Winchesters. Even if it ended badly it still ENDED and they all came to a point where there was closure of some sort. And Crowley is still the dark mirror to all this, and same for Rowena, even if she also softened to the Winchesters in the last season. (And Sam softened enough to Crowley to say thank you to him - him getting the hug and thank yous was a real doom :P)

-

*a lot of things happen very quickly to which my reaction is just ????*

I suppose Cas either had no idea what was going on and charged in to save the day when it took too long, or the nephilim sent him in to kill Lucifer because why not. Mary just got knocked out and Kelly's glowing

I kind of feel this is Cas wanted to be there because the writing moved him there

-

CAS

Oh my fucking god remember how terrified I was last episode of Jody standing with her back to the open door because the same thing happened to that random hunter?

ALSO I tried to rewatch the season before I got sick and everything ground to a halt and all these episodes suddenly happened, and the opening road so far recapping 11 had that random angel who died and looked like Cas in the promo for 11x09 and freaked everyone out and it looked pretty much exactly like this, so if you can somehow retain the entire season in your head, uuh

Fuckin Dabb era fucking - GAH

-

Did Lucifer really just growl at Mary

Brass knuckles! Work on angels too

Repeating 12x01 where Ms Watt (rememebred her name) was so badass and unstoppable with them and kicked their butts until Mary stopped her. Mary is the unstoppable force

-

Oh didn't want to see a random shot of dead cas not thinking about that lalalala

-

We forgot Adam

Lucifer didn't

*swan songs Mary out of there*

Technically Michael did that to HIM but I guess flippy flippy everything's reversed, Mary's going to the reverse verse anyway

-

Dabb era is freaking inside out

-

Run, Mary.

-

Okay I can see what they said about Purgatory, but that is a reverse of it completely, Mary alone in a hostile land but with Lucifer instead of how Dean was with Cas, and whatever they were in season 7 and however it looked like Cas flapped off and abandoned him at the end, he wouldn't be a threat to him

-

Sam sees the light is flashing in the house as Jack is being born, Dean is a bit distracted looking at Cas in a way that made my brain ache so much I saw stars and had to pause

-

I drank half a bottle of water and hit play and I mostly screamed at Mittens about the following succession of events in incoherent caps but my conclusion is, that long shot of Dean having fallen to his knees then falling to sit down in despair looking up while right beside Cas and we have wings and... yeah that is the Worst Shot On The Entire Show and will never ever ever be topped by anything they ever do ever again. I have seen the image that my Hell will be wallpapered with.

I didn't even believe in Hell until just now :P

-

Anyway Sam has stuff to worry about

-

Hey look Kelly put herself to rest except for the open eyes

bye bye

now where's the baby

-

Oh look it has adult sized feet

-

Is Sam ending the season in a room with a crib because yiiikes Dabb. Yikes. Jack is after all metaphorically connected to him strongest of anyone because of the whole original Sam arc that this season has been aaaaaaaaall about

-

Yeah he's ending the season in a room with a giant naked baby with yellow eyes huddling by its crib

-

Anyway what the fuck.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I don't like being in hiatus with you all it was actually nice being horrifically ill and binge watching Twin Peaks.

[dfnews]

Episode Recap of "Triple Date Night"

Season 4, Episode 2 - June 12, 2017

"Ben, Derick and Austin spend an afternoon at a trampoline park as Jessa, Jill and Joy search for the perfect date-night outfit. Meanwhile, Jill and Derick share big news with Israel; and Jinger and Jeremy settle into married life in Texas."

Let's all travel back in time to those days before Joy was married (an hour before this aired) and start airing courting shows just to confuse everyone. TLC's policy is to make its audience dizzy so they won't notice all the gay hate and female bondage going on with the Duggar cult.  

1. I'm watching the YouTube version of this episode where the Duggars' voices are all made deep as Darth Vader as a way to try to fly under the illegal upload radar. Jill and Joy sound so masculine and already deep voice Jeremy sounds like he's strangling to death. Those points may be what keeps me awake for this recap.

2. Jill, Jessa and Joy decide to go on a triple date with their boy toys. One of the opening shots is a toothbrush holder with dozens of brushes grouped together. I thought these girls had some medical training. Those toothbrushes prove they try to pray away the germs instead of using common sense. They pull out a clothes rack filled with $2 thrift store finds to wear for the date. They talk about clothes and style and that's about it. Austin is asked about Joy's style and he does the right thing by just saying, "I love it." Good boy! Joy says she's starting to wear dresses because Austin likes them. If Austin likes dresses let him wear them! He already said he loves your style so who gives a crap what he likes. Jessa gets onto the topic of her pregnancy with Hankster. This was filmed last fall or early winter before his birth. Jessa mentions, for the first time, that she has regular prenatal care. Amen! Hallelujah! We were never sure about that but I hope she means by a real doctor and not her unlicensed midwife friend. They talk about keeping the baby's gender a secret even though Hank, a boy, has been on earth for four months now. I think the secret is out. Five minutes in and we're still at the clothes rack. Jill says she'll wear whatever fits and doesn't make her sick. Jessa is confused about sick inducing clothing but I'm guessing Jill is in the early stages of pregnancy and hasn't told anyone yet. Jessa just thinks Jill is loony like the rest of us. After all that time at the clothes rack finding nothing the girls decide to go to town with the camera crew and leave the babies with grandma. How sweet of them. Grandma can barely walk but she can watch two very active toddlers. Way to go girls! How sensitive!

3. JinJer are in Laredo cooking. Jinger makes breakfast. Jeremy gets the coffee. Jeremy eats. Jinger is very quiet. Jeremy finishes his food and says he's gonna hit the books. Jinger says she has a lot of laundry to do. That's about it. They are both boring as hell! Jeremy says he does most of his pastoring research and writing at home which I guess is to keep an eye on Jinger and to take advantage of the always being available marital rape crap that Jinger has been brainwashed to think is okay. Jinger is allowed to leave the apartment by herself to drag all the laundry downstairs. I'm betting she is only allowed because the camera crew was with her. Jeremy later goes with her to collect the laundry. I guess he has to make sure it was done right before its allowed back in the apartment. What does Jinger do all day in that apartment with Jeremy underfoot? What a sad existence.

4. Jill, Jessa and Joy are now in a store looking through clothes racks. Jessa suggests some leather for Joy and she says she's not really into it. I bet some of Josh's side ladies were. Joy finally tries on a dress and comes out of the dressing room with that ugly mustard cardigan. Did she have that thing stuffed into her purse? I'm not sure if she ever bought anything but she didn't seem thrilled at all with the choices. Why? Because that is not Joy. They're trying to force nicer clothes on her because she's got a boy to please but what truly pleases Joy? Not this.

5. Time for the Duggar dumb boys talking head moment of the week. The producer asks them to name some fabrics and with utter surprise Josiah names spandex. Josiah has either been experimenting or talking to Josh too much. Jeer wins the dumbie award of the week with the fabric called "scarlet". Congrats, Jeer!

6. Back to sickly Derick and his gag problem. Again!? Didn't I complain enough the last time you filmed Derick puking? STOP IT!!!! Yes, we all know Derick is sickly but you don't have to show it. Old clips of scandalous Dr. Fedosky are shown again checking out Derick. People can comment below on Fedosky's history. It's not good. Hopefully he's clean now. Derick is then shown going to a female allergist. Yay, for an educated woman in this show. It's a rare occurrence.  Maybe she can smack some sense into him. It's found out that Derick has a ton of allergies including milk and nuts and he's never been tested before??? Dr. Merritt thinks his esophagus is spasming.  She wants to test him on some meds before he goes back to El Salvador and Derick seems unsure when he is going back. Whenever he can grift enough money from the gullible, I guess. Derick has suffered from seasonal and food allergies for over a decade. His palate, jaw and teeth were neglected as a kid. Where was his mom when it came to her son's medical needs? Maybe it's not her fault. Maybe Derick refused to get medical and dental treatment, but seriously! Why is Derick such a mess?

7. As the girls shop and grandma babysits, Austin, Ben and Derick go to a trampoline park to play. Derick promises to not puke in the trampoline park. That's always nice to hear before hanging out with that dude. Austin and Ben prove to be pretty athletic at the park. Derick flails around like a rag doll. The guys sit and talk after exhausting themselves jumping. Austin comes off as more mature than Derick and Ben. Ben talks about Austin having a job which is something Ben doesn't talk about himself. He has a job working for the Godbobber and once lied about being a real estate broker.  Derick talks about Austin being self-sufficient which Derick has no clue about since others are funding his life. I hope Austin went home and realized that he is way ahead of those two dumb-nuts.

*Time for the Duggar dumb boys talking head moment of the week part 2. The trampoline park referee tells the boys to not do certain moves because, I assume, they're dangerous. The producer asks the Duggar boys and Jessa about these moves and for once they're surprisingly not ignorant. They know exactly what these moves are that they are not supposed to do. We've seen many photos of the Duggars going to this trampoline park. I'm sure they've been warned about not doing these moves but I get the feeling the smug Duggars who don't like to follow rules from secular places break them all the time. Their smirks throughout this talking head pretty much prove it.  

8. Austin arrives for the triple date. Joy picked a dress and Jill is late because she's not feeling well. The girls act like they have no clue why she isn't feeling well. We all know they track each other's cycles and share pee pee sticks. They know. Joy can't find a shoe and asks Hannie and Jenni to help find it but they don't listen too well and move like snails so Joy ends up walking down the stairs to Austin in one shoe and one extremely filthy bare foot. Maybe the filthy feet these girls often have is to discourage foot fetishes. We wouldn't want to Josh up a new beau. Joy eventually finds the other shoe and Jill arrives. Time to party!!!

9. This is the most boring party ever!!! Jill is suffering from pregnancy sickness so she dictates what Derick can eat. I just know by the end of the night one of the Dillards is going to be puking in the parking lot. They chat about nothing and eat and then leave. All that prep for nothing.

10. Cut to the Dillard's House as the subtitle says but it's not really their mcmansion. It's Jim Bob's. He owns Derick. I wonder which Dillard donor purchased that North Face jacket Derick was wearing at dinner. Derjill attempts to tell a 19 month old that he's going to be a big brother. Of course Izzy is clueless but he does love the baby doll they gave him to play with. I hope they allowed him to keep the baby and didn't take it away because they think it might make him gay. They give Izzy a big brother shirt and Derick makes a comment about it not fitting over his grilled cheese tummy. I wonder if Derick is overly concerned about Izzy's weight. That could be a sign of Derick having an eating disorder. They break the news to the other family members over Thanksgiving in Branson. The Duggars are slow readers so it took them time and Jill holding poor Izzy up towards the ceiling for them to finally notice Izzy's big brother shirt. As I scanned the tables looking for Josh, because I know he was in Branson with them, I spy Laura DeMasie sitting at the table with all the grown boys. She's sitting between Jed and Jason. John is sitting next to Jason. She is with the Duggars too much lately and is the only nonfamily member at this dinner. Hmmmm. What the heck is going on? Maybe she and John are getting it on. Or maybe Jana. Jill gets all goofy trying to figure out how her mom raised 19 kids even though only a couple of minutes before they were talking about the buddy teams. Remember Jill? Remember raising your mom's kids? Yes you do. And as soon as Izzy can change Samuel's diaper, a new buddy team will be born.

Now get a decent toothbrush holder before someone calls the health department!